


Dying In LA

by henley_sarah



Series: AHS Fics [5]
Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Hotel
Genre: Aftercare, Anger Management, Angst, Based On A Panic! At The Disco Song, Begging, Blood Kink, Blow Jobs, Breathplay, Bubble Bath, Character Death, Choking, Cunnilingus, Death, Depression, Disfigurement, Dissection, Disturbing Themes, Dogs, Explicit Consent, F/M, Feels, Fluff, French Kissing, Ghost Sex, Ghosts, Insecurity, Jealousy, Kinks, Lana Del Rey references, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Multiple Orgasms, Murder, Neck Kissing, Necrophilia, Oral Sex, Panic! at the Disco References, Past Relationship(s), Pet Names, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Secrets, Serial Killers, Sex, Sex Addiction, Shameless Smut, Singing, Smut, Spanking, Sugar Daddy, Touch-Starved, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 02:57:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 30,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16232783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henley_sarah/pseuds/henley_sarah
Summary: I then saw him glance at my left hand on my glass. "No ring?"I tilted my head slightly, smiling softly. "Do you always check women for rings?""Only the pretty ones." He chuckled. "What room are you in?""Sixty four." I hummed, then raised my brow. "Why?""Just curious. I don't meet many of our guests here." He said with a small smile at my slightly confused face. "I forgot to mention I'm the owner, didn't I?"I then made an 'oh' face. "That explains a bit."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So now I've done up to season five, and I have a season seven one finished, and I hate myself because I'm going to be skipping over season six.
> 
> But, of course, you can read all the ones in this series separately. Duh.

"What is it, Miss Evers?" I sighed when she stepped into my room.

"We have some guests." She said.

"And I care, why?" I hummed.

"The youngest is a pretty little thing. A singer finishing up a tour." She informed me, and I looked up.

"That is a bit interesting." I considered. "I'll take a peek at her later. Who's with her?"

"Her two managers. They're not that special. But the singer... she's a snappy one." She chuckled and left the room.

Sometime later, she came to inform me that the three were at the bar, and I left just to observe them, try to learn who they were.

"I don't see why we couldn't stay with the crew in their hotel." An older female said to the younger female, who I guessed was the singer and a male.

"Because of history." The other female sighed. "Have you never done a bit of research in your life, Sam?"

"Nessa is just being edgy." The male said.

"Fight me." The singer hummed and sipped her drink. "Just because you two don't know how to use Google..."

"The Hotel Cortez is basically a murder hotel, Sam." The male explained, making me smile proudly.

"Do you have a death wish?" The woman named Sam looked at the singer, Nessa.

"Lowkey." She just hummed, then sighed and finished her drink.

"You going to bed?" The male asked, and she stared at him with a blank face.

"We've been driving for seven hours, Brian. Where else am I going to go?"

I think I liked her.

"Well, remember, you have to be up by eight, we're making sure your costumes fit for the last few shows, we'll probably run through some songs, and then... N-Nessa, are you listening?" He asked as she got up and started to walk away.

"Nope. Night." She hummed, then looked at the number on her key to find her room.

"I worry for her mom's sanity." The man, Brian, shook his head.

"From what I've heard, her mom raised her like that on purpose." Sam sighed and drained her own drink. "I think she wanted Nessa to have her own thoughts, but it backfired. Now she's just stubborn as hell."

"I mean, she knows what she wants. That's for damn sure." Brian nodded.

They soon said goodnight and went to their own rooms, and I walked the halls, thinking to myself.

"Any ideas?" Miss Evers asked me.

"I think I'm going to play with them a bit." I nodded, making up my mind.


	2. Chapter 2

NESSA

I woke up the next morning and dressed decent, not flashy or fancy. It was about eight thirty in the morning, and I wanted to shoot myself for being awake.

I got a text from Sam that they were by the bar again, at a table with some breakfast. I slipped my key into my pocket and left, going the way I remembered.

"Hey. How are you feeling? I know you hate waking up early..." Brian started with a smile.

"No, I just hate waking up in general." I shook my head as I sat down with them.

He just sighed. "One goddamn day, Nessa. Just one day without this?"

"No." I pursed my lips and sipped some coffee.

"Brian, hush. Listen, I had a great idea last night." Sam said, and I looked over with my usual blank face. "If I could get a word in with the managers or owners, we can have a promotional show here."

"Nope," I said and drank more coffee.

"Nessa, you're not seeing the opportunity here..." She tried.

"No, I do." I nodded. "If we hold an event here, we'd be promoting me for more ticket sales, and the hotel would be using my name to draw in more customers, blah blah blah."

"So, what's the issue?" She asked, and I stared.

"And here I was thinking you were smart." I sighed. "Events don't just get planned in an afternoon. Shit, this tour took half a year to plan. Be realistic."

"Yeah, that's true. Sorry, Sammy." Brian frowned.

"Fine," She sighed, then gave me a look. "Aren't you going to eat something?"

I stared back at her, and she sighed. "Nessa, you can't live off coffee, coke, and fries."

"I've been doing alright for the past few years." I shrugged.

"Are you trying to waste away?" She hissed, and my stare turned into a glare, and I leaned over.

"Last time I checked, you were my manager. Not my nanny. Piss off." I said in a low voice, and she sat up straight again before she sighed and left the table.

"You know she's just trying to look out for you," Brian said and refilled my coffee cup.

"When people look out for you for too long, it gets a bit annoying." I sighed, rolling my eyes. "She treats me like I'm fifteen or some shit. She does realize I'm a grown ass woman, right?"

"You're a grown ass woman who does a shit job of taking care of yourself. What else do you expect us to do?" He shrugged, and I just exhaled a sigh, knowing he was right.

"Now, after breakfast, do you wanna run through songs or have a last fitting for the dresses?" He asked.

"Songs. If I try to get into all those dresses, I'll probably pass out around ten." I said and he nodded. "I've been through that one too many times."

He gave me a look and I smiled a little and took a sip of coffee. "I was eighteen, I was getting a dress to crash my senior prom. Well, I didn't have much to eat that morning, and right after I chose a dress, passed out right there in the dressing room as I was trying to put it back on the hanger." I said and his jaw dropped.

I smiled a little to myself, looking down into my coffee. "Gave the girls working there a scare. Then my mom stuffed me with mints until I could stand." I chuckled and took another drink, and saw him trying to hide a smile.

We finished up there and he came with me to my suite to run over songs with me.

"You've got to take better care of yourself, Nessa." Brian sighed.

"Well, it's not like I don't try." I sighed and got myself some water to clear my throat. I sat on the couch, and Brian snapped his fingers at me, and I sat up perfectly straight.

"Give me a smile." He said, and I gave him a look before fixing my face to look like I was super happy.

"I don't want my cheeks hurting before we even get to the venue," I said, keeping the smile on.

"What happened to that cheery stage tone?" He raised his eyebrow, and I sighed.

"I don't need to practice this shit, I've been doing it for years," I said, letting my shoulders and my smile drop.

"Doesn't hurt to practice." He shrugged.

"Hurts my cheeks. You ever tried holding a smile for two hours?" I said and he took a seat.

"Fine. Whatever. I want you to run through... Say Amen, just for the high note-" He hummed, and I rolled my eyes before going through that one verse for him.

"Done. Next." I stared, and he sighed.

"National Anthem?" He looked up at me, and I hummed.

"Alright, I can do that one." I nodded and cleared my throat again before I started to sing in that lowkey lazy way of mine.

" _I'm your national anthem, God, you're so handsome. Take me to the Hamptons, Bugatti Veyron. He loves to romance them, reckless abandon. Holding me for ransom, upper echelon. He said to be cool but I don't know how yet. Wind in my hair, hand on the back of my neck. I said, 'can we party later on?' He said yes, yes, yes..._ "

Brian seemed pleased with it and some of the other ones I ran through, and he called it.

"Thank God." I checked the time. "What kind of food do I want?"

"A fucking buffet," Brian said.

"Haha, you're so funny," I said in a sarcastic voice. There was a knock on the door, and Brian went to answer it as I fell back on the couch, checking up on things on my phone.

"Guess what?" Sam sounded excited.

"Oh no." I sighed.

"Hush. I managed to talk with the managers, and they said a show would be perfect for drawing in guests. I've already sent out a tweet on your official Twitter promoting the show." She said and I sighed again.

"I love it when you don't talk to me before doing things." I glanced over at her, then let my phone fall on my chest. "When is it?"

"Tomorrow evening. About eight." She said, and my jaw dropped a little.

"Tomorrow is my one free day in LA," I said.

"That's why we're doing it in the evening." She nodded, and I clenched my jaw.

"Fine. Since it's already in the works..." I said, then stood up. "Now leave."

"What? Why?" She looked confused.

"Cos I'm getting a shower. Bye." I said, turning to go to the bedroom and pick out clothes for when I was done. I heard the door close, and grit my teeth, trying to calm myself a little.

Once all that was laid out, I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the water get warm as I undressed. I stepped into the shower, drawing the curtain, and let the hot water melt my anger.

When I was done in there, I got dressed, grabbed my bag and phone, and slipped out, keeping an eye out for Brian and Sam.

I got to the lobby and was about to walk out, then saw Liz glance at me from the receptionists' desk. I pressed my lips together in thought, then walked over, taking a bill out and sliding it over.

"Anyone asks, I'm still here," I said, and she nodded, taking the bill. I gave her a quick smile, then turn and left to get myself some lunch.


	3. Chapter 3

When I got back from lunch, I went right back to my room and was pleased to find that neither Sam nor Brian were around. I then decided I might as well start working a bit, and looked over the song list, then looked at the dresses I had, deciding what I felt like wearing for tonight's show.

I didn't feel like being too fancy, so nothing floor length. I wasn't really feeling a bright color, so something dark...

I picked out a short black one with a skirt that flared out, with flashy silver designs all over it. I tried it on and it felt right, so I then tried on different heels to match it with. Once I found a pair, I took them off and set them aside, getting back into my normal clothes to waste time until I had to get ready.

I decided I should probably let my skin breathe, so I cleaned my face thoroughly, then tried to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my hair. I curled it, humming to myself, running through thoughts about tonight's show.

Once I was done with that, I blew out some air, then went over to a personal bag, and pulled out one of my favorite books to help pass the time.

Some hours passed, and I read and blocked out the world until a knock on my door snapped me out of my trance. I looked up, marked my page, then went to answer, seeing Brian.

"Time to get ready. Here." He said and handed me a glass of what I'm guessing was coke.

"Thanks," I said and took a drink and let him in so he could grab my dress and shoes to pack. He left, and I just sat down and started to do my makeup, sipping coke, trying to get myself excited to perform.

I made myself perfect and smiled like how I did on stage, just to make sure everything looked right. I put in a pair of earrings, locked everything in place, and made sure my phone was charged.

I still had some time left and was trying to make myself more happy, more believable.

I ended up grabbing my earbuds and put one in, playing my happy playlist. I stuffed my room key in my bag and went to meet Brian and Sam in the lobby, Brian carrying the bag that had my dress and shoes in it.

"Are you sure about that dress?" Sam asked.

"Fight me." I sighed before putting my other earbud in. We left in the car that would take us to the venue and got in through a back entrance. I was shown to a dressing room, and there were some snacks in there.

"Oh, fuck yes." I grinned and grabbed a bag of M&Ms.

"Sugar. Fucking... sugar." Sam sighed.

"What? Sugar makes her happy. Sugar makes her nicer." Brian shrugged, unpacking the bag.

"You should listen to him." I kept grinning.

Some time passed, and I soon set the candy, and they left so I could get dressed. I slipped on the dress, strapped my heels on, and spent a good few minutes just fixing my appearance.

When the knock came, I stepped out and put on a smile before I stepped out on stage, hearing the screaming of those of my fans.

Shows were always sort of a blur for me. One minute I was hearing the music play for the first song, and the next, I was blowing kisses, wishing everyone a good night, and promoting the Hotel Cortez. Get a room, get a show. Limited space. Blah blah blah...

I was a bit tired when I changed back into my regular clothes, and soon left with Sam and Brian, and closed my eyes once I was seated.

"Hey, no sleeping yet. You've still gotta eat dinner." Sam said, and I didn't argue, as I was sort of hungry. "I'm going to go ahead and guess you want fries?"

"And chicken nuggets or a burger or something. I don't really care." I gave a small shrug. So we made a pit stop at a McDonald's, and I tried to gather some energy as we got back to the hotel, and the three of us got in my room.

"To another successful show, Nessa." Brian smiled as he passed me my chicken nuggets and fries.

"Whoo." I gave an unenthusiastic cheer and grabbed a few fries. "Be back," I mumbled and went into the bathroom with makeup wipes and cleaned my face. When I was done with that, I took some pills, and sat back down on the couch, starting to eat, drowning out whatever the fuck the two of them were talking about.

"Well, since you have a somewhat free day tomorrow, you can sleep in for as long as you want," Brian said to me.

"You act like I already don't sleep for as long as I want." I hummed, now just eating fries as my nuggets were gone.

"Yeah, Brian. It's not like she doesn't do whatever she wants whenever she wants or anything." Sam rolled her eyes, and I stared at her with a deadly look, and she seemed to realize what she had said.

"Sam, you're an excellent manager. You're good with organization and planning." I hummed and looked back at my fries.

"Thank you-" She started, but I cut her off.

"But I'm getting a bit annoyed at your lip," I said and sat up, now glaring. "At this point, I'm only keeping you around for your organization skills. Talk shit one more time, even think about talking shit one more time, I will not hesitate in firing you and taking everything you have." I said and she nodded quickly.

"I'm very sorry..." She tried, and I lied back again.

"Just get the fuck out of my room," I said, and she nodded and left.

I then looked over at Brian with a 'told you so' look, and he shrugged.

"Keep an eye on her when I'm not around, will you? And if she starts talking, just punch her in the teeth." I said, not letting my emotions show on my face. "Or at least teach her how to be more like you."

Brian gave a little chuckle. "Sure thing. So, you have any ideas for tomorrow night's show?"

"The Hotel Cortez was built in twenty-five, and I'm feeling a sort of twenties vibe. We can roll with that." I said and he nodded.

"Sam's written out a good portion of the song list. I can drop it off in the morning for you to look over, make changes if you want." He said and I nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Get some sleep, okay?" He patted my shin and gave me a smile before he left. A minute later, I got all the trash in one of the paper bags, and threw the bags away, making sure the table didn't have grease or water stains on it.

I walked to the bedroom with my phone and got in just a huge T-shirt and panties, then got in bed, plugging my phone up to charge overnight, and lied there staring at the moonlight peeking through the window.

I suddenly realized how alone I was, how cold and empty I felt, and I pressed my lips together, trying my best to hold the tears in.


	4. Chapter 4

I got up the next morning around nine, and lied in bed and did shit on my phone until I was awake enough to get up. I got myself a bottle of coke and took a drink as I walked into the main room of my suite, and saw the song list Brian promised to drop off on the table. I sat down and read over it, not liking some of the choices.

I got a pen and crossed out some songs, put others in a different spot, and some were good where they were, so I left them be.

I texted Brian and told him I made my edits to the list. He said he was coming to get it, and I went and put a pair of joggers on for decency.

When he got in, I handed him the list. "Great. I'll show the band. Oh, they're already setting up downstairs, if you wanted to check it out, make some more plans around that."

"Yeah, I will in a bit. Just gonna grab a shower first." I said and he nodded and left. I went and got a shower, singing softly to myself. Once I got out and put a pair of panties on, I had that distinct feeling that I was being watched as I rubbed in some lotion. I then pressed my finger to the mirror to check if it was a two-way mirror, and it wasn't, so I just called myself paranoid with a shake of my head.

I put on a shirt and a pair of jeans and sneakers, then went down, soon finding Brian and Sam down by the bar where people were setting up a stage and ornate gold decorations.

"Hey. What do you think?" Brian asked.

"I fucking love gold." I chuckled, looking around. "Another reason why I like this place. Gold everywhere. Most hotels are white or off-white. It's boring." I explained, then my brows furrowed as I looked around.

"Something wrong?" Sam asked.

"Where is our crew? Why aren't they helping?" I asked.

"I'll call them over." Brian patted my shoulder, taking out his phone, and I looked at Sam.

"I... sort of forgot..." She admitted.

"You forgot our crew existed?" My brow rose. "Jesus fuck. I may be a bitch, but my mom at least taught me to help out where I can."

"It won't happen again." She said.

"Best not." I hummed and looked over at Brian when he came back.

"They're on their way. So is the band." He said and I nodded and looked back to Sam, who looked tense, and I ran a hand across my face.

"Sam, I'm giving you a choice. Go breathe into a paper bag, have a drink, pop a xan, or smoke something. Just... chill out." I said, and she just looked shaky.

I guess it sort of was my fault she was tense. I have been a little harder than usual on her the past few days.

I held my hand out, looking at the clipboard of papers she was holding. "Gimme." I waved my hand, and she handed over the papers.

I took them, then held my hand out for Brian's, and he gave them to me with a questioning look. "Get her to her room, and just make sure she doesn't have a breakdown. I don't care what you do." I said, and he gave a nod and lead her away as I sat down, reading through the papers, just making sure everything looked good.

Liz came over with a glass and a bottle and sat next to me. "That lady manager of yours..." She hummed and poured me a drink.

"I've been a bit hard on her lately." I hummed and thanked her for the drink before taking a sip.

"What's she done?" She asked and I set the clipboard down with a sigh.

"She tends to forget that she's my manager, not my mother," I said and Liz nodded in understanding.

"She gets familiar." She hummed.

"Far too familiar." I nodded as I drank.

"We got a lot of rooms filled thanks to this little event. A lot of rich people coming, too. They didn't get rooms, but bought their way onto the list." She winked, and I gave a little chuckle.

"The things people will pay for always amuses me." I sighed as I sat back.

The crew and band came in lead by Iris some minutes later, and some members came up.

"Hey, Nessa. Where's Brian and Sam?" The drummer asked.

"Sam was about to have a mental breakdown, so Brian's helping her out. What's up?" I asked.

"Just wondering about the song list." The guitarist shrugged.

"Right." I nodded and flipped through the pages. I quickly took a picture of it before I gave it to them, tucking my phone back in my pocket.

"Really? Young and Beautiful first?" He looked up at me.

"What's wrong with Young and Beautiful?" I asked.

"Bit slow for an opening number, don't ya think?" He hummed.

"It's a theme, dumbass." The pianist groaned at him, and I gave a laugh at his face.

They went off and Brian came back and gathered the papers, and I just remained sitting there.

"You don't have anything to do?" He looked at me and I shrugged with a small yawn.

"Not really. I was going to spend the day binge-watching Supernatural, but I don't want to distract myself too much." I said.

"Always watching Supernatural..." He shook his head.

"It's a good show. Fuck you." I glanced up at him.

"Whatever you say. When we get all the instruments set up and everything, we're going to run a sound check. That includes you, Nessa." He said.

"I sort of guessed that." I hummed.

"Pick something with high notes so we can be sure you won't break glass when using the microphone." He said and I rolled my eyes.

"Aw, but I wanted to bust people's eardrums, Brian." I pouted sarcastically, and he gave a little chuckle.

It took a little time, but the instruments and mic were set up and hooked up, and I sat on the edge of the stage, swinging my feet lightly, looking as bored as I usually did as they tuned and tested the sound for the instruments.

"Nessa, can you try and not look dead?" Brian called, and I looked up at him halfway across the room, my eyebrow slightly raised.

"It's my face," I said loud enough so he could hear it, and he tilted his head and gave me a look.

"Please?" He asked.

"Why?" I asked in monotone. "Ain't nobody around." I sat up, leaning back on my palms a little, smirking a little when I saw him sigh.

When he was ready, he called for a soundcheck, so I stood and turned the microphone on, then tapped it to hear the feedback, and looked to the sound guy as he fixed it, and gave a nod.

"Alright, Nessa Buchanan soundcheck one... um, fuck it, let's run King Of The Clouds," I said and looked behind me to the band to see when they were ready. When they were, I took a breath and sang the first verse alone, and they came in at their cue. I kept going, keeping my own ear out.

" _I don't trust anything, or anyone, below the sun. And I don't feel anything at all... I'm king of the clouds, of the clouds. I get lifted, I get lifted. King of the clouds, of the clouds. I get lifted, I get lifted. Imagination take me somewhere I don't know. I'm lost but I'm better if I find it alone. King of the clouds, of the clouds. I get lifted, I get lifted..._ "

When we finished that up, we just waited for feedback from the sound people.

"Sounded pretty good, but can we get the last verse or so of Say Amen so we can get feedback on a higher note?" Brian asked.

"Say Amen isn't even on the song list," I said.

"Just do it, Nessa." He said and I stuck my tongue out before we ended up doing it anyway.

Because I'm a fucking brat.


	5. Chapter 5

That night, I had my hair done, my makeup perfected, and a shimmery, long, gold dress on, and some matching gold platform pumps, and was ready to perform.

Brian came to grab me and took the gold clutch I had with my phone and lipstick in it as I joined the party, greeting some people with smiles and niceties. The piano started an into when I got close, and I walked up the steps, clearing my throat softly, and glanced back as he replayed it, now ready for me to sing.

" _I've seen the world, done it all, had my cake now... Diamonds, brilliant, in Bel Air now. Hot summer nights, mid-July, when you and I were forever wild. The crazy days, city lights, the way you'd play with me like a child..._ " I kept it low and soft, smiling slightly at some parts, and it grew a little as the rest of the band joined.

" _Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me when I've got nothing but my aching soul? I know you will, I know you will, I know that you will... Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?_ " I touched the mic gently, making eye contact with some people in the audience, and one sort of caught my eye. A man in a very expensive looking suit with a pencil thin mustache. Dark hair, dark eyes, looking a bit intrigued as he watched me.

I kept singing the song, finishing it up, and received applause, which I gave a little bow to, then gestured to the band for their credit. I then gave a little introduction, welcoming them all to the Hotel Cortez, a little speech Brian had prepared for me that I memorized easily enough.

We then did some more songs as the party continued, and after around thirty minutes, took a break. Once I was off the stage, Brian handed me my bag, and I took a deep breath.

"You good?" He hummed and I nodded.

"You have no idea how much I want to put myself in a drug-induced coma." I sighed and gave him a smile before walking over to the bar for a drink. As I drank, I talked with some people, and some asked if they could get pictures with me, so I put on my best smile for them, hurting my cheeks even further. But it was for fans, so it was alright.

I was having a little break just to myself with a drink, and someone came over and stood beside me, and Liz came to serve them. I looked over and saw it was the man with the thin mustache I'd noticed earlier.

He then offered his hand to me. "James Patrick March." He gave a small smile, and I noticed his accent, that of one I would name to be vintage or something. He just seemed to be a man out of time.

I put on a smile and put my hand in his. "Nessa Buchanan. Nice to meet you."

He lifted my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. "You as well, my dear. Now, Nessa, is that short for anything?" He asked, taking a drink.

"No, just Nessa." I hummed, taking a sip of mine.

I then saw him glance at my left hand on my glass. "No ring?"

I tilted my head slightly, smiling softly. "Do you always check women for rings?"

"Only the pretty ones." He chuckled. "What room are you in?"

"Sixty-four." I hummed, then raised my brow. "Why?"

"Just curious. I don't meet many of our guests here." He said with a small smile at my slightly confused face. "I forgot to mention I'm the owner, didn't I?"

I then made an 'oh' face. "That explains a bit." I nodded slowly as he chuckled.

"How much longer are you staying?" He asked and I hummed.

"There's tonight... I have a show Friday night, one more Saturday night, so until Sunday." I nodded.

One of the band members hissed my name, and I turned and saw that our break was over. "Oh, shit... excuse me." I gave James a smile, and he nodded, and I went back up onto the stage after handing my bag back to Brian.

We did some other songs, and I took a little pause before the final song of the night as the event was coming to a close. This song only required the piano, who played beautifully as I sang.

" _Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you. You looked at death in a tarot card, and you saw what you had to do... But nobody knows you now when you're dying in LA. And nobody owes you now when you're dying in LA. When you're dying in LA. When you're dying in LA. The power, the power, the power... Oh, the power, the power, the power of LA..._ "

I took a final bow and wished everyone a good night when that was done. I stepped off stage and checked my phone in my bag.

"Still good?" Brian asked.

"My eyes are burning, and I still want pills." I hummed and he nodded and patted my shoulder. "Would we call that a success?"

"I think we would call this a success, yes." He nodded, and I let my head fall back slightly in relief. "You should get back to your room before the hallways start swarming with people," Brian said and I nodded and walked off.

I made it to my room easy enough, and the first thing I did was take my shoes off, then sit on the couch before I turned to fall on my back onto it. I wanted to just pass out there but forced myself up after a few minutes to get my dress off and change into something comfy, then clean my face and tie my hair up. I turned the lights out, plugged my phone up, and watched a bit of Netflix as I grew more and more tired.

When I was finally tired enough, I pressed the power button and blacked out, that feeling of being watched still with me.


	6. Chapter 6

I was woken up the next morning by some sounds in the other room. I kept my eyes closed and sighed.

"If you're a ghost or some shit, I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now. Come back later." I groaned.

"Not a ghost." I heard Brian say. "And Sam's still alive, too."

"Cool. Bye." I just said and turned over, pulling the blankets up more around me.

"It's after ten, Nessa, get up." He said.

"I will stab you if you don't let me sleep," I warned.

"You don't have the energy to." He pointed out.

"I will when I wake up properly." I yawned.

"I'll buy you a pizza if you get up." Brian sighed.

"I don't want a pizza," I said.

"Fries, then." He said and I peeked over the covers at him. "Fries and whatever the fuck else your messed up little self wants."

"Depends on where you're going," I said, and he stared. "Because if you're going to McDonald's, I want chicken nuggets and cookies, but if you're going to Five Guys, then I want a burger and a shake."

"Why are you like this..." He sighed.

"Is... is that rhetorical?" I asked, and Brian stared, quiet for a moment.

"Chocolate chip cookies, I'm guessing?" He asked and I nodded with a Cheshire grin.

"This is why you shouldn't offer to buy me stuff. I'll leech you dry." I chuckled as he walked out.

As promised, I got out of bed and tugged on a pair of joggers, and pulled my phone off the charger. I walked out to the room and Sam was sitting there on her phone.

"Can I be bold for a moment?" She asked.

"Sure." I hummed.

"Why are you so cold? Uncaring?" She looked up at me where I sat. "Why do you treat people the way you do?"

I blinked, the corner of my mouth lifting. "Because."

"Because?" She asked, her brows pinching together.

"Just because." I hummed.

"You don't care?" She continued to stare.

"Not a bit," I said without missing a beat. Sam just gave a nod and looked back at her phone. After a couple minutes, she got up and walked out, and I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, still burning.

I heard the soft scuff of a shoe on a carpet, and looked over, and saw James at the liquor stand.

"How did you get in here?" I asked.

"Owner, love." He just hummed and poured himself a glass.

"Okay, yeah, sure. But I didn't even hear the door open, and I have excellent hearing." I said.

"How excellent?" He asked, glancing over, and I smirked.

"I can hear the people two doors down fucking constantly. I hear just about every door in this hall when it opens and shuts. I can even hear the car doors on the street outside the window." I said.

"Yes, that is quite excellent hearing." He hummed and took a seat, sipping his drink, eyes on me.

"So, any reason you've come?" I asked.

"Curiosity." He gave me a little smile.

"About what?" I asked, my face not shifting in the slightest.

"About you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you." James smiled slightly wider and leaned towards me. "I'm quite good at reading people, you see. Especially the darkness that resides in them."

My brow quirked a little. "And you read some darkness in me?" I hummed.

"Not quite. There's... a lack in you." His head tilted slightly.

"A lack?"

"Of both light and dark. You're... you're more like a shell. An empty space waiting to be filled." He said, and I swore I saw a glimmer in his eye. He was looking at me with an emotion I couldn't exactly read.

"So, you're curious about my emptiness?" I asked, actually a little interested in what he had to say.

"Extremely." James grinned. "Why are you so cold and uncaring?"

"Well, to be perfectly honest, to be entirely uncaring is impossible. Everyone has things, people, they care about. I just make sure my list of things I care about is kept short. I don't let myself make room to care about anything else." I explained.

"Why?" James then slid over right beside me.

"Saves a lot of hurt when the things you don't care about are ruined." I hummed, earning a chuckle from him.

"I suppose it would." He nodded, still staring at me. "And what is on your list of things you care about?"

"Now why would I tell you?" I smiled softly, and he breathed a small laugh again.

I heard the soft thud as he set down his glass, and I then felt his fingers under my chin, his thumb just under my bottom lip. I remained still, holding eye contact, a little unsure if I wanted him to be touching me or not. I guess I didn't have a problem with it right now.

"Do you care about those two, your managers?" He asked softly, barely a whisper.

"Why?" I just asked, and his thumb then traced my bottom lip, and I felt my stomach stir a little.

"I have plans, and I'm afraid my plans just don't involve them." James tilted his head only a few degrees.

"Plans for me?" I asked, cautious, but curious.

"Plans for us." He corrected, and the corner of my mouth curled up into a little smile.

"And you're just so certain that I'll agree with whatever plans you've made?" I asked.

"I am." He nodded slightly.

"You underestimate me." I hummed, then smirked. "Did you really think you could waltz on in here and smooth talk me into doing whatever with you? That you could flirt a little and what? Sweep me off my feet?"

"No," James smirked then. "No, I've been keeping an eye on you, Miss Nessa. I know you're stubborn. I know you put up a fight." He hummed, eyes now on my lips as he tugged my bottom lip down, opening my mouth. I watched him bite his lower lip ever so softly as his thumb passed my lips, and I decided to be a little tease and trap his thumb between my teeth.

James then gave a breathless little laugh. "Thank you for proving my point."

He then started to pull his hand back, so I let his thumb go. It wasn't wet, so I didn't mind when he stroked my cheekbone, looking like he was searching for words.

But my door started to open, and I looked over to see Brian coming in, and James was suddenly gone from my side.

"Where's Sam?" He sat down with a bag, handing me a box and fry container.

"She's disappointed in me." I hummed, pretending like nothing ever happened, and popped a fry in my mouth.


	7. Chapter 7

I wasn't in a good mood when I came back from my show that night, and I was trying to keep myself under control and not scream at anybody. But both Brian and Sam were making that hard, as they were already going over tomorrow's plans.

So, as I was walking behind them, I just paused and watched for a moment as they kept walking and talking, not even noticing I wasn't there with them.

That didn't really surprise me, but I guess I was still a little disappointed.

Chewing on the inside of my lip, I went to my room and told myself repeatedly in my head to not hit, kick, or break anything. I could feel a sob welling up in my throat but ignored it as I cleaned my face.

I was now at a point where I had no fucking clue what to do with myself. I sat at the edge of the bed, then let myself fall back so I could stare at the ceiling. I hated myself for it as I felt tears leak from the corners of my eyes. I closed my eyes, and a mere moment later, felt a finger brush the tears from the sides of my eyes.

I sat up in alarm and saw it was only James. "Didn't hear me this time, did you?" He hummed with a small smile.

"How'd you do that?" I asked, then realized that wasn't the question I wanted to ask. "Never mind, I don't care. Why are you here?"

"I'm here to make it all better, Nessa," James said and brushed his thumb under my other eye.

"I'm fine," I said, and he gave me a look.

"Now, we both know that's not quite true." He hummed and knelt before me, and I then realized I was only in a giant T-shirt that could pass as a dress on me and my underwear.

"What makes you happy, Nessa?" He asked softly. My lips parted as I thought, then I thought up another question.

"Why do you care?" I didn't mean it in a mean way, I was genuinely curious.

"I have no reason not to." He gave a small shrug. "Come now. What will put a smile on that face?"

I didn't answer again, unsure as to why he was trying to make me happy. My brows furrowed, and I decided to give in.

"Chocolate, since you want to know so badly..." I hummed, and James gave a smile as his thumb swept over my cheekbone.

"It is done. Come, dear Nessa." He stood again and offered me his hand, so I placed my hand in his and stood, and let him lead me to the main room, where the coffee table was now covered with all kinds of chocolates. I stared, trying to make sense of this.

James just lead me over, and I told myself not to question it, but I was questioning it.

"How...?" I started but was unsure how to put it.

"I'll explain later." He sat us down. "Go on, now." He encouraged me, and I looked over the table, spotting the French truffles, which were my favorite, and popped one in my mouth, holding it to let it melt.

I worked on pacing myself, listening to James as he spoke, and I did start to feel better but was a bit self-conscious as I kept track of exactly how much chocolate I ate. And James seemed to notice.

"There's no need to restrict yourself, my dear." He chuckled, and I gave a small smile.

"My mom used to say I had no idea how to appreciate the finer things in life, especially with chocolate, or good food in general. I guess it's just habit at this point." I hummed and picked up a strawberry creme filled one.

"Well, you must forget that." James shook his head, and I gave a little smile.

"Why? Is it a part of your plan?" I asked.

"Yes, it is, actually." He gave a nod.

"Can I hear this plan of yours?" I asked.

"I'm afraid not." James gave me a little look again with a smile.

"And why not?" I asked.

"Because then you might not want to go along with it." He continued to gaze at me.

"That doesn't sound suspicious at all." I hummed, picking up another truffle. I let it melt in my mouth, and James ended up surprising me by leaning forward and placing his lips on mine.

I closed my eyes out of instinct and kissed him back. He bit my bottom lip, making my lips part, and slid his tongue in, stealing the truffle from me, then pulled back with a little smirk as I blushed deeply.

"Look at you all flustered. Adorable." James touched my cheek, and I couldn't help the small smile on my lips. His thumb ran over my bottom lip again, and I found myself wanting to kiss him again.

"Are you trying to woo me?" I asked.

"Is it working?" James only smiled, and it grew when I bit the side of my lip, not answering.

He then leaned in a bit closer to me. "I want you to know that I am quite taken with you, my darling Nessa. You managed to seduce me with a song and a few smiles, which isn't very easy to do." I watched as he studied my lips once more.

There were butterflies in me, and I was having a very hard time not staring at his lips, wanting to taste them again.

"Are you the devil?" I asked in barely a whisper, and our eyes met again.

"Possibly. Why?" He murmured.

"Because you are extremely good at temptation..." I sighed and saw his lips lift, but I kept still, and James then looked a little confused.

"What's the matter, dearest?" He asked.

"I just... I don't want you thinking I'm shallow, or a gold digger, or a whore or anything." I said, growing a little sad again.

"I promise you, I think none of that about you, Nessa darling," James said, stroking my cheek.

"What's more, it's very late. You need your rest." He traced my hair a little. "I wasn't planning on doing anything with you tonight, dove." He said and I slowly nodded.

James then leaned in and softly kissed me, and I closed my eyes and took my time to memorize how he felt and tasted. My chest already felt lighter, and I was thoroughly confused at my emotions. When he ended the kiss, he told me to get to bed. I nodded and went to brush my teeth again, and when I stepped out of the bathroom to head to bed, both he and all the chocolates were gone.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up Saturday morning, my head feeling a bit clearer than it has in a good, long while. I stared at the ceiling, trying to make some sense out of the jumbled mess that was my thoughts.

I sat up slowly and stared at the light peeking through the curtains, and after a moment, I realized I was sort of hungry. I checked the time and saw it was a little after ten, so that explains it, I guess.

I stood up and pulled on some clean clothes, and was tying my hair up in a ponytail when I stepped out of my room, almost running into James.

"Oh, shit! Sorry." I apologized, and James just gave a little laugh, his hand resting in the dip of my waist.

"You're quite alright, my dear. I was just coming to ask if you would join me for a late breakfast." James gazed at me, and a little smile appeared on my face.

"I'd love to," I said, and he lead me away.

"Did you get enough rest?" He asked, his hand smoothing down my ponytail.

"I did, yes, thank you." I hummed with a small smile. I didn't even realize how touch starved I was until James started showering me in gentle touches. And here I thought I was just lonely, but no. When was the last time I hugged someone? When was the last time I was actually touched by someone who wasn't annoyed by me or didn't hate me?

He lead me to a room where a table was set up with all sorts of brunch food, and the laundress, Miss Evers, was fixing a plate. She told me to help myself, so I fixed my own plate, noticing there were only two chairs at the table, and they were right next to each other.

James pulled my chair out for me and I gave him a smile as I set my plate down and sat. He then poured us each glasses of champagne and sat himself down.

"To pretty girls," He held his glass up, and I laughed softly as I touched my glass to his, and we both drank.

"I'm curious, Nessa," James said after some bites, and I looked over at him, swallowing my bite to answer whatever question. "How did you become a singer?"

I smiled softly. "I happened to be in the right place at the right time."

"A happy accident?" He hummed and I nodded.

"A talent competition show came to my city, and sometimes, when there aren't enough participants, they grab people nearby just to fill spaces, get some content for the show. I was one of those people they just grabbed." I hummed. "I used to be terrified of singing in front of people, I thought singing in front of celebrity judges would kill me. But, turns out they liked me, and I was made a real contestant."

"Did you win?" James asked, and I chuckled.

"No, I got second place. First place went to this magician, and he one hundred percent deserved it. He was amazing." I said, earning a laugh from James. "On shows like that, it doesn't matter if you win or not, if enough people like you, if they deem you good enough, you'll still get signed by some company." I gave a small shrug.

"How old were you?" He then asked.

"Eighteen," I answered. "Just graduated from school, no idea what I was going to do with my life... I had just come from a job interview at a bookstore when they picked me out." I smiled a bit wider at the memory.

"Forgive me for prying, but you live a pretty good life. Why are you so unhappy?" James' fingers brushed over my left hand where it rested on the table.

I smiled a little sadly. "Do you remember back to when you were a kid, and all everyone told you was that you could be anything you wanted when you grew up?" I asked as he stared at me. "Then you grew up and realized it was all bullshit?"

I then looked up at James again. "It's that feeling of realization that you've been lied to for so long all over again. I know this career, the fame, it won't last forever. If I'm lucky, it'll last maybe another three years? Maybe five if I'm really lucky."

I glanced back to the tablecloth. "I didn't even want to be a singer..." I sighed.

"What did you want to do?" James asked, his hand lifting my hand, fingers sliding along my skin, making me smile softly.

"You'd laugh," I said.

"I would not." He promised.

I bit my lip for a moment, then decided fuck it. "I wanted to study literature."

"Really?" He hummed, seemingly surprised, but he didn't laugh.

"Yep. The singer who wears glitzy dresses and five pounds of makeup actually has a brain." I nodded, holding in my own laugh.

James chuckled, running his thumb over my knuckles, and I watched him study our joined hands, and he looked like he was thinking deeply. I didn't want to interrupt his thoughts, but I was curious.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"Your last show is tonight." He hummed.

"Yes," I nodded.

"You leave tomorrow."

"Yes," I said a little softer, and James looked like he was thinking again. "What is it?"

"I'm just perfecting my plan." He hummed, then gave me a smile before he kissed my knuckles. "No need to worry, my dear."

"I really want to know about this plan." I frowned slightly as I leaned slightly closer in my chair. "I hate being kept in the dark."

"It's a surprise." He gave me a smile.

"I hate surprises, too." I narrowed my eyes a little.

"Soon, darling. Soon." He reached up with his other hand and stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers. "I just need one little thing from you."

"What is it?" I asked, holding perfect eye contact.

"When you come back from your show, I want you to come to my room. Don't bother changing out of your pretty dress." He said, and I nodded. That wasn't too weird of a request, I could do that.

"Good girl." He gave a smile, tracing my jaw with his finger. The praise set off the butterflies in my stomach, and I kept them well hidden.

There was a knock before James dropped his hand from my face, and we both turned to see Miss Evers step in.

"Apologies, sir. Miss Buchanan, your managers are close to throwing fits because they can't find you." She said, and I blinked.

"Both of them?" I asked and she nodded, and I closed my eyes and sighed. I then looked over at James. "I'm really sorry..."

"Not your fault, my dear. I'll see you later." He kissed my hand again before he let me go, and I paused by Miss Evers.

"Bar?" I asked and she nodded. "Bar. Why am I not surprised..." I hummed I left, getting down to the bar, seeing both Brian and Sam looking angry and panicked at Liz and Iris.

I clenched my jaw and went over. "The everliving _fuck_ do you think you're doing?" I hissed, and they both turned with wide eyes.

"There you are! We were so worried..." Sam started, but shut up when I raised my eyebrow.

"So you decide to verbally abuse two people that are just doing their jobs?" I asked and they didn't respond. I kissed my teeth, then licked my lip slightly. I got my phone out of my pocket, and unlocked it, then went to the timer and set it for two minutes.

"You both better be in my room for a little chat in two minutes." I stared at them, then tapped the screen, starting the timer, and they walked off. I gave the two women an apologetic smile.

"I'm really sorry about them and whatever they said," I said.

"I would love you as a boss." Liz sighed, making me laugh a little.

"No, you wouldn't." I smiled before walking off, glancing at the timer. I got to my room in just over a minute and saw them both waiting patiently outside, looking nervous.

Good.


	9. Chapter 9

They behaved themselves the rest of the day, and I just basically ignored them. I was too busy thinking about what James had planned as I walked back into the hotel, a short silver dress on with a flared out skirt.

I went off to his room and knocked, and saw his pleased smile and let me in.

"You look lovely, Miss Nessa." James studied me, and I gave a little smile.

"Thank you. Question," I started, and he hummed. "Did you ask me to keep my dress on so you could take it off me?"

James laughed, but his gaze darkened slightly as he looked at me. "To be perfectly honest, yes."

I didn't let my expression change, and I pulled my hair over my shoulder and turned around for him so he could undo the back.

"Eager?" James hummed, and he started to kiss my shoulder as he undid the top clasp and dragged the zipper down slowly.

"I don't like wasting time with filler." I just hummed as he kissed up my neck, leaving bites here and there. James pushed the straps down my arms, and my dress slid down and to the floor.

I stepped out of it and kicked my shoes off, and turned back around, meeting his lips, and raised my hands to undo the buttons on his shirt, but James caught my hands and raised them above my head as he backed me into a wall.

"I know you probably won't care, dear," James said between heated kisses. "But I do feel inclined to confess something to you."

"What?" I asked, hoping he didn't have AIDS or some other disease.

"I'm dead." He said, staring as he was mere inches from my face, and I just blinked. "As you are still alive, I understand if you don't wish to continue."

"You're right." I hummed and he looked a little hurt. "I don't care," I said and brought a hand down to bring his face back to mine. His hands held my hips and brought his to mine, making me gasp lightly, and I tried for his shirt again.

"Darling, you really shouldn't..." He pulled back again and I groaned.

"James, I swear to fuck if you stop one more time..." I nearly glared, but he just smiled at me, gave a small laugh, then kissed and bit at my neck again, now working at his own shirt. I smiled a bit as I moaned, and tried to work my hips against his.

He lead us to his bed and crawled over me once I was down. His shirt and ascot came off, and I saw his cut throat but didn't really care (no surprise there). All I cared about right now was him getting his pants off, and I decided to encourage him a bit by slipping my panties off and dropping them over the side of the bed.

I felt his hand sliding down to touch me, and I just placed my hand over my pussy, watching his confused face.

"Pants off." I nodded, restricting access until he did so.

"I'm not submissive, dear." He gave me a little look.

"What a surprise. Neither am I." I hummed, challenging him to test me. James groaned and got rid of his pants and underwear, then I removed my hand to let him part my thighs.

I moaned softly as the air hit my slickness, and James ran his fingers over my slit. His mouth came to my chest to bite and suck at my nipples as his fingers teased me. I slid a hand into his hair and tugged lightly, rolling my hips against his hand. James' eyes met mine again, and he came back up to kiss me, his fingers finally sliding in and relieving a little of the pressure.

My fingers tightened their hold in his hair, and I parted my lips to kiss him deeper, moaning a little as he fingered me. I let my own hand trail down and run over his length before I started to stroke him, earning some groans in response.

After a minute or so, he pulled back and placed kisses in random spots down my body, then gripped my hips in his hands and raised them to his face. My gasp was a little louder than I expected, and I squeezed my eyes shut and just tried to breathe.

I'd never been eaten out before, and just based on the way James' tongue was trailing up and down and messing with my clit, I wondered why the fuck I never insisted before.

"Oh, my... fuck, James..." I groaned, slipping my hands into his hair to hold him in place. I could feel my heart going insane, and I ground my hips down against his face, which James seemed to enjoy.

I met his eyes for a moment before he sucked my clit into his mouth, and my back arched and I let out a high moan as I came right then, my thighs twitching as I dripped.

I felt James give a last long lick, and I pulled him up by his hair, forcing myself to sit up a little to kiss him, tasting myself on his tongue.

"My dear," He breathed against my lips as he hooked a leg around his waist and lined himself up to me. "You taste delightful."

I smiled wide and laughed a little, but it was cut off by James pushing into me. My jaw dropped open as my eyes closed, and I let my nails sink into his skin.

He rocked himself in and out of me, and I bit my lip hard as I moaned uncontrollably under him. James leaned down and kissed me, forcing me to let go.

"I want to hear you. Don't you ever hide those sounds from me." He more or less demanded, and I nodded quickly.

"Harder, please. Please." I sighed, and he increased his pace, and I gave a small scream out of pleasure. Shit, I wasn't even a screamer, to begin with.

James was murmuring praise and compliments as he fucked me, and hissed when I dragged my nails down his chest and abs to reach my clit.

"Ah, ah, darling. Let me." He pushed my hand away and gave me no warning before he pressed down hard onto my clit. My back arched, pressing me to him, and I trembled as I moaned and screamed.

He drew my orgasm out of me with no problem and finished in me as I lied there, feeling boneless. James pulled out and lied next to me, breathing a little hard for a second or two before he sat up, kissed me quickly, and gave me a smile.

"Stay here. I'll be right back." He said and I nodded. He tugged on a robe and tied it, then walked out. I stretched a bit, feeling my back was now a bit sore, probably from arching so much. But fuck, James made it feel so good, so I didn't really mind.

James came back and handed me a robe. I slid off his bed and put it on, then he took my hand and lead me to his bathroom, where Brian and Sam were lying bloody and lifeless in the tub.

I just stared, slightly confused. "Is there a point to this I'm not seeing?" I asked and James moved to stand behind me, his arms coming around my waist, holding me tight against him with his lips by my ear.

"I like you quite a lot, Nessa. You know this." He hummed, and I gave a nod, still looking at their pale bodies. "I've decided to keep you here with me. But those two? They had to go. They would've taken you away. They would've made you leave the hotel, leave me."

I then turned my head and looked at James' face beside mine. "Fair points. But why should I stay?" I asked, and his brows twitched in confusion. "What do you have to offer that will keep me from walking out the front doors, James?" I hummed, tracing his hair with my fingers.

He seemed to get the point that I wasn't actually threatening to leave and smiled as he turned me to him. "I'm offering you safety. Nothing in here will ever hurt you. No one would dare lay a finger on you, because I say so."

He then tilted his head slightly and traced my cheek. "Stay with me, and you'll want for nothing. All you need to do is ask. I do love to spoil." He gave me a little smile before it dropped again and he turned slightly serious.

"I'm offering you companionship because I know you feel lonely. I know you're just dying for someone to care about you, not because they're paid to, but because they genuinely care about you. Stay with me, Nessa, and you'll have my attention, my touch, my care. All of it." He said softly, eyes locked on mine, and I tried to blink away the tears that welled up, because I know he was right, and he knew it too.

I nodded quickly and hugged him, planting my face in his chest, and his arms came around me and held me there, placing kisses on my hair as I squeezed my eyes shut to try and stop the tears.


	10. Chapter 10

My stuff was moved into James' room as he disposed of Brian's and Sam's bodies.

"You truly don't care that your managers are dead?" Miss Evers asked as she helped me put my things away.

"Not at all. They've been getting on my nerves lately, anyway." I said, organizing my shirts how I liked them. Miss Evers noticed some time ago that I had everything arranged a certain way, and she was hanging up my dresses in a closet by color order. Pants were the same way, but shorts before jeans, and joggers after jeans. Shorts and jeans arranged by color, but joggers by thickness of fabric. I don't know why exactly I liked it like that, I just did.

James came in a few minutes later after Miss Evers finished up with my dresses and left, and I was sorting out my makeup on the vanity in the room. James then wrapped an arm around my waist and nibbled on my ear, making me smile a little.

"Yes, James?" I asked.

"I just like the sight of you bent over something." He hummed, kissing behind my ear, and I rolled my eyes a little as I continued to organize my lipstick by color.

"You can bend me over whatever you like except this," I said, and he hummed softly, dragging his lips across my neck.

"Whatever I like?" He then chuckled in my ear, and I gave his reflection a little look as he grinned at me. I finished up with the purple lipsticks, then put a gray one in place followed by some black ones, then turned to face him, putting a hand on his chest and walked him to our bed.

"Be reasonable, James." I hummed, and he sat down and brought me onto his lap, so I hooked an arm around his neck to keep myself balanced.

"Well, darling, I would never hurt you." He ran his hands up and down my sides. "Not unless you asked, of course." He then hummed, making me chuckle.

If I had to guess, I'd say James is one kinky ass motherfucker. But for me? I didn't consider myself very kinky. Shit, I wasn't even that experienced. I hadn't even been eaten out before last night.

"I guess I should mention I'm not really that experienced..." I admitted softly and looked away, but James turned my face back to look at him.

"I don't care, dear." He shook his head a bit. "Before last night, were you a virgin?"

I shook my head. "No. You were the first to eat me out, though." I said and watched a smile come to his face.

"I am? What an honor." James hummed and ran his fingers over my inner thigh over my jeans. My breath got caught in my throat as I watched him. "Those men out in the world today must be insane to not want to please such a lovely little thing like you." James shook his head as he undid the button on my jeans.

"My personality sort of stops people from wanting to fuck me," I said as he turned me on my back on the bed and tugged down my jeans and panties, throwing them aside to the floor.

"I find your personality endearing, love. Turn over on your knees for me." James stroked my thigh, and I did so, sticking my ass in the air for him. I shivered as his hands trailed over my skin, and he started to rub my clit in slow, torturous circles. I let my eyes close to just enjoy it, knowing he would take care of me.

He kept at it until I was dripping with arousal, and he finally gathered it all on his tongue, and I sighed out erotically in relief. James kept at it, slipping his tongue into me as I moaned and gripped the sheets. I swore and moaned out his name, which only got louder and breathier as I got closer.

"James...  James, fuck, I'm close..." I bit my lip.

"Come, darling. Come for me." James murmured against me before he kissed and sucked my clit, which made me come in mere moments.

"More?" He asked when my breathing had calm, and I nodded quickly.

"Please,"

"Good girl." James praised and slipped two fingers into me, his thumb on my extremely sensitive clit. I bowed my back even further, which seemed to please him.

"You are a very good girl, aren't you, my dear Nessa? So warm... so wet... and oh, you're so tight, too." He moved his fingers a bit harder, making me cry out with a moan. "I just adore those pretty sounds of yours, darling."

He made me come again that way, and he then smoothed a hand over my back as I breathed, lying face down. He said he had some work to do, he'd be back in time for dinner.

I nodded slowly, not all my senses back to me yet, and lied there. Once I could get up, I cleaned myself up and put on my clothes again. I decided to go visit Liz down at the bar.

"Here to stay, hm?" She asked.

"Yeah. Surprise me, but make it sweet." I said with a little smile, and she gave me a wink before fixing up a drink.

"Are you completely aware of what he does?" She asked.

"James?" I asked, and she nodded. "Well, no, not entirely. But I don't really care either way."

"Really? No matter how sick it may be?" She poured a bright red drink and slid it in front of me.

"I honestly, really don't care what most people do. That is unless they do something I don't morally or ethically agree with, then I care a little." I hummed and took a sip of what most people would consider being a sickeningly sweet drink, but to me, it was perfect.

"And he's still in your morals?" Her eyebrow rose.

"With what I know so far, yes." I nodded.

"You're an odd one, Nessa." She hummed.

"I've been told," I said, and she leaned across the bar to whisper in my ear.

"Well, what if I were to tell you he's still hung up on his ex-wife?" She said, and I didn't say anything. "Elizabeth, or The Countess. Beautiful as a butterfly, deadly as a thousand wasps. She's had countless others since James, and yet he still clings onto the hope that she once loved him, that she might still."

I blinked once, running this over in my head. James promised me his attention, touch, and care. Not his love. So I shouldn't expect love from him.

"Sad, but whatever." I hummed, taking another drink, and she gave me a surprised look as she stood back up and just stared at me.

"Even the most hardened killers have emotions. It ain't for me to dictate who those emotions are pointed to." I shrugged.


	11. Chapter 11

I was already seated when James came back to our room for dinner. I gave a smile as he kissed my hair and sat beside me.

"How was your day, gorgeous?" He asked as we started to eat.

"Alright. More exciting around the first half, though." I hummed, and he gave a laugh, knowing exactly what I was referring to. "How was yours?"

He gave me a side look. "Would you really want to hear me talk of murder at the dinner table?"

"I've talked about worse." I nodded for him to go on.

"Well, now you've just got me curious," James said, and I chuckled a little.

"Okay, say you had this giant blender, right? Big enough to fit a small kid into. If you were to liquify a toddler, how would you do it?" I asked, then looked over to see him staring at me.

"And I don't mean add some acid and press blend. It's got to be one hundred percent, pure toddler. Would you remove the bones first to make it easier? What would you do with the bones then? Can bones be made into a liquid, or would you have to make them into a sort of powder to mix into the liquified kid? Also, what about hair? It would just mat up in the mixture, so would you shave the kid before blending? Same thing with nails; would you remove them before? That also includes teeth." I then nodded and pursed my lips as I thought more.

Surprising me slightly, James started to laugh. I looked over, smiling a little at his amused expression.

"When...? Why...?" He chuckled, not able to form sentences.

"It was back home with my mom. We were thrown out of a restaurant for disturbing the other guests." I said, not hiding my grin as he laughed a bit harder.

I then explained why I had the thought, keeping him entertained, and he told me about similar kills he'd done as I ate, grinning at some parts that just amused me.

After dinner and some wine, James lead me to our room with a little smirk, and leaned down, softly biting my bottom lip, looking me straight in the eye.

"And I'm just now starting to realize you have quite the appetite." I hummed as his hands slid up my shirt. "I must be slower than I thought."

"You're not, dearest. You're not." James shook his head, peeling my shirt off, my jeans following. Before he could fully undress me, though, I started working on his clothes, pushing his hands away from my hips. James gave me a little look and I just gave him a smirk. Once his pants and underwear were off, I made him sit, and I knelt before him, and he finally understood.

"You could always use your words, darling." He gazed at me as I stroked his length in my hand.

"It's more fun to watch you get annoyed," I smirked and licked up his length, pleased at the shudder he gave. "You always give me this look, like, 'what do you think you're doing?' It's kind of adorable."

"I'm not adorable." James protested.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that." I hummed and slipped my lips right over his head as he was about to speak, making him cut himself off with a low groan. I pulled off to laugh, having fun with this.

"Unfair." He gave me another look.

"I never claimed to be fair, to begin with." I hummed and took him back into my mouth, reducing him to groans and soft swears. He gripped the sheets and muttered my name, and once he got close to climaxing, I pulled off and licked a stripe up his torso, chest, neck, and to his ear, which I softly bit.

James moaned, hands pulling down my panties where I stood, and he seemed a bit desperate as he gripped my hips.

"Did you want something?" I grinned as I stood straight up again, looking down at him.

"You're a damn tease, darling." His fingers stroked the skin on my sides.

"You just noticed?" I simply smiled at him. James stood and pulled me flush against him, pushing his lips onto mine, wasting no time before he kissed me deeply. I let my hands trail up into his hair, scratching at his scalp and pulling on the roots as his hands trailed all over me.

"I just can't decide what to do with you." James sighed, placing softer kisses onto my neck as his hands kneaded my ass and thighs.

"There's the wall, there's some chairs, a table... the sofa, the floor..." I hummed. "Of course, there's always the bed, but not everything has to be done on a bed." I considered.

But James suddenly lifted me, and I yelped a little in surprise, tying my legs around his waist as I got a grip on his shoulders.

"Jesus fuck... maybe some warning next time?" I asked as my back was pressed to a wall, and James only grinned.

"It's more fun to watch you get annoyed." He quoted me, and my jaw dropped before I shut it and looked away with a small huff.

"Okay, fine. Guess I deserved that." I hummed, and he pressed a kiss to my jaw as he sunk into me, making me gasp lightly, then sigh.

As James fucked me, my mind wandered back to what Liz said earlier about him still being hung up on his ex-wife. I tried to wipe the thought as soon as I realized I thought about it, but it was very hard to not think about something.

To distract myself, I lowered my head down to his shoulder and neck to place kisses and suck little marks onto his skin, pleased at the sighs he gave in my ear. He pressed hard against my clit, making me tense, and rubbed to make me come, and he followed not long after.

Once we were somewhat calm, he pulled out and carried me back to bed, and laid me down before lying beside me and he pulled the covers over us. I didn't really expect him to, but James pulled me close, keeping an arm around me, breathing softly against my skin.

I closed my eyes, holding onto his arm, forcing myself to chill. Another thought entered my mind; did he hold his wife like this after they slept together? I've never even met Elizabeth. I have no idea what she was like. What if she was absolutely beautiful and better than me in every sense of the word?

I told myself to cut that shit out, and I turned over to face James, letting my hand rest against his chest as I drifted off.


	12. Chapter 12

Most days were like that. I'd wake up to James lavishing me with attention as he got ready for the day, and he'd leave me with a kiss. I'd busy myself with whatever until dinner, which was always something spectacular, and the day would end with mind-blowing sex.

There were some days where James would insist on staying by my side all day. If he did, I knew he had something planned. Some sort of surprise, usually a gift.

James was a fucking sugar daddy. Did he even know what sugar daddies were?

I told him often he didn't need to get me things, and he always said he wanted to. Whatever would make me happy.

I wasn't sure what made me truly happy anymore. Chocolate didn't seem to patch me up like it used to. Sugar in general just didn't seem to bring up my mood. I acted for James, though. I'd hate to hurt his feelings after he was working so hard to make me happy.

I basically decided I was a fucking train wreck, and I fucking hated myself.

I usually went to talk to Liz at these times. She was just a great listener, and I really liked her. So I was now sitting with my arms folded on the bar, head down, a coke and rum in front of me.

"Ah. No pity parties at my bar." She snapped her fingers at me.

"I'm not having a pity party. I'm just thinking." I rolled my eyes.

"Thinking some depressing shit." She said, and I stared.

"Have you met me? All I do is think depressing shit." I chuckled dryly.

"I remember one of your managers having this little rant one morning before you came down about your depressing ass." She said, and I raised my head.

"What'd they say?" I asked, needing to know.

"The guy was growing sick of your talk. He said not a day, shit, not an hour went by where you didn't say something about hating yourself, offing yourself, or just dying in general." She stared at me. "You suicidal?"

"No," I said and took a sip.

"You lying?" Her brow raised.

"No," I said and stared right back at her. "If I were suicidal, that would mean I have plans to kill myself in the near future, which I don't."

Liz just continued to stare at me. "Do you like yourself, Nessa?"

"Does anybody really, truly like themselves?" I hummed, taking a long drink through the straw.

Liz continued to stare at me, and I sighed. "It's gotta come out one way or another. It's either me talking shit about myself, or pent-up internal hatred that comes out all at once with a mental breakdown."

"Why?" She shook her head slightly.

"Keeps me humble, knowing I'm not shit." I gave a small shrug.

"...You're off. Really off." She said and I frowned.

"I've been off my prescriptions for a few days. I should switch pharmacies to one around here, but I just haven't felt like it." I hummed, stirring my drink a bit, and Liz smacked me upside my head, but not enough to really hurt.

"You're going to do that right now. You hear?" She pointed a finger at me.

"Fine. Fuck." I sighed and got my phone out to find the nearest pharmacy, then called up some people to properly make the switch. They said they'd call when I could come to pick up my prescriptions, so I went to get myself decent enough to go out in public, and looked at my reflection, pursing my lips.

When the call came, I left, finding the place and paid, tucking the paper bags into my bag, and then went to get a haircut, just to clean it up a bit. It was all bouncy and shiny when I came out, and I forced myself back to the hotel.

I've been told by tons of people that mental health is not something I should be embarrassed about. But having people know you relied on medication to feel emotions was embarrassing to me.

When I got to the room, I put the two bottles and case into the drawer of the nightstand on my side of the bed and waited until just before dinner to take them.

When James came in, he dismissed Miss Evers and took my chin in his hand, making him look at me.

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't happy, dearest?" He asked softly, and my brows pinched together. "This is my hotel. I know everything that goes on in here. Now, why didn't you tell me?"

"Why do you need to know?" I asked. "What does it matter if I'm happy or not?"

"It matters to me. I want you to be happy." His thumb stroked my skin. "I won't have you being sad. And I'm not going to tolerate you saying such awful things about yourself."

I simply stared at him, and James moved his face closer. "You're not worth self-loathing, and you are not dying anytime soon." He said as if it were an order.

"Like you don't plan to kill me?" I asked, and he looked a little shocked. "Don't even try to act surprised."

"Not anytime soon," James repeated, getting close to my face. He kissed me then, a bit softer than usual, and I guessed it was to express his care for me.

Dinner was halfway forgotten, and so was my argument as he kissed me. Now I only thought about how he cared for me, which lead to how he still cared for Elizabeth.

James pulled back a little while later after pecking my lips. "You need to eat, darling." He hummed, tracing my hair.

That night, the sex was slow and careful, something I wasn't aware James was capable of. I was almost convinced that he was trying to prove that he really cared for me, especially when he lied next to me after, and took my hands, and just pressed kisses all over my skin there.

Almost.


	13. Chapter 13

I was doing better in a few days, which made James a bit happier. I wanted to keep him happy, but I wasn't entirely sure how to do that, exactly.

But I had an idea soon enough.

Before dinner one night, I lied some of his ties on the bed, and when we went into our room, he looked a little confused.

"Darling, why are my ties...?" He started to ask.

"So you can tie me up." I gave him a smile before pecking his lips and saw him smirking.

"Undress for me." He said, and I started to as he looked over the ties, and plucked one up. Once I was bare, he turned me around and put my arms folded behind my back, and tied them together.

"Not too tight?" He hummed and I nodded. James then bent me over our bed, and I turned my head so it wasn't completely pressed into the comforter. James wasted no time and started to finger me, and I bit my lip, closing my eyes at the feeling.

"Oh, I love seeing you at my mercy." James sighed, his lips running over my shoulders and back. "You're all mine, every piece of you, darling."

I nodded to please him, though my sense of stubbornness was telling me to argue and say I wasn't going to be owned.

James ran his tip along my slit, making me shiver. I wondered if since he now had me tied up before him, would he go hard? Harder than usual? Shit, if I got scared, would he be turned on? Probably.

James then pushed into me, and I found myself thankful that he didn't just ram into me. Sure, he was going a bit hard, but it was nothing I couldn't handle.

When we had both come, he pulled me close as we lied together and stroked along my jawline.

"Are you scared of me?" He asked softly, and I smiled a little.

"No," I said, and it was the truth. I had no reason to be scared of him. He wanted to take care of me and keep me safe.

"You just... you seemed a bit hesitant is all." He hummed, and I touched his cheek.

"That has nothing to do with you, James," I said so he would understand clearly. "It's habit at this point. There's been... people in the past that didn't hear me say stop the first few times."

I then let my hand drop to his chest as he watched me. "But I know you would never hurt me. You've proven that." I gave him a smile.

James leaned forward and kissed my forehead. I smiled and let my arm slip around his neck to keep close.

He wanted to spend the day with me the next day, and I didn't question him, as usual. Once he was all dressed, I went over and looped my arms around his neck, and his hand slipped down to hold my back.

"So, what have you got planned for us today?" I asked.

"Must you wear those twenty-first-century clothes, dear?" He hummed, and I rolled my eyes.

"What would you have me wear, then?" I asked and he slipped over to the closet with my dresses and pulled out a floor length dress, the bust black, and the skirt white. It was backless, and the skirt from mid-thigh down was pretty see through.

I smiled and took off my shirt and jeans. "Just this once." I gave him a look as I slipped the dress on and fixed it around me. I put on a pair of platforms with a thicker heel so my feet wouldn't hurt as much.

James kept his arm around me as we slipped through all his secret passages and such. He told me stories of his kills, and it was easy to see that he was overjoyed I wasn't disturbed by them.

After lunch, we went to the bar, and Liz raised an eyebrow at me.

"When was the last time you wore a dress?" She asked, pouring us drinks.

"No idea." I hummed, then smirked a little, glancing at James before looking back to her. "He doesn't like modern clothing." I hissed, and James gave a warning squeeze to my thigh as I chuckled, running my fingers over his.

"I'm tempted to wear bright ass blue or green lipstick just to see what would happen." I looked over to James with a tiny smile.

"Do you have to test me, dear?" He asked, not looking mad, but amused.

"You know I like to fuck with you." I grinned before drinking some more.

"How cute," A new voice chimed in, and both James and I turned to see a woman with platinum blonde hair in a red dress with a pretty boy in black beside her.

"Heaven knows you need someone to keep you on your toes, James." She said as she came up to the bar, and Liz poured her a glass of what looked like blood.

She then turned to look at me, blue eyes looking soulless as she stared at me. "We haven't met. I'm Elizabeth."

Holy fuck. Okay.

"Nessa." I hummed in response, trying to ignore the fact that she looked like some albino queen or goddess while I... I looked like I was going to homecoming or something. I told myself mentally that I didn't give a single shit about her or whatever she and James have done in the past. He had me now, and she had... whoever the fuck that was.

"She's a pretty one, James. But you've always liked anything with a pretty enough face in a skirt." She hummed, eyes trailing over me as she drank.

"What do you want?" James asked her, his tone hard.

"I'm not allowed to give her my own welcome?" She simply hummed.

"You have no business with her. You don't need to be anywhere around her. Ever." James held onto me with a firm grip. Did he actually still care for her? It seemed to me like he hated her.

I kept my face perfectly straight as Elizabeth looked back to me. "Whenever you get tired of him, I'm in the penthouse." She hummed, drained her glass, and walked away with the guy in black.

I turned back around and sipped my drink with a small hum. "That was sad. Pathetic, really."

James turned me toward him and his hand wrapped around my neck. He looked pissed.

"James, calm down. I'm not going anywhere." I said as I stared at him, and slowly his fingers loosened up, and his hand dropped into my lap. I sipped my drink as I took that hand in my own.

I glanced to Liz, who got the message and left, and I turned back to James and lifted his face to look at me.

"Tell me you don't seriously believe that after all this, you'd think I'd just drop you? You really think that low of me?" I asked, my brow raised.

"No, darling. No, I don't think lowly of you at all." He said.

"But you doubted me." I pointed out, and he just shut up. I pressed my lips together and moved a little closer.

"I'm sorry she's hurt you. But James, you know I'm not her." I stroked his cheek.

"You're right." He sighed. "I know you're right." James put his forehead against mine before he kissed me softly.

"Better?" I smiled when we parted, running my fingers through the back of his hair. He nodded, and it was my turn to give him as much attention as it would take to make him happy.


	14. Chapter 14

Only around a week later, James told me to stay with Liz at the bar. I asked why and he said that I just had to. I was very confused when I approached the bar, and Liz gave a knowing look.

"He didn't tell you what tonight was, did he?" She asked.

"No. What's tonight?" I asked.

"His monthly dinner with Elizabeth." She said and I stared at the wall for a few seconds, then gave a sigh.

"I'm getting a pizza. You want some?" I asked, and we both decided on one, and I left to go order and get it, then bring it back to the bar. She had a rum and coke ready for me, and we were just sitting there, eating pizza and talking.

"I'm surprised you're not drinking more." Liz hummed.

"I avoid getting drunk. I'm not a fun drunk, I'm an emotional drunk. I just cry." I gave a shrug.

"I bet I could make you a fun drunk," Liz said with a little smile. "I bet I could get you bar dancing and singing in no time."

"Ha, you're funny. That's not going to happen." I gave a small laugh.

"I should take you out to a karaoke bar," Liz said.

"Ain't no fucking way I'm letting you do that." I shook my head. "You can take me to a regular ass bar."

"Seriously, Nessa. Let off some steam. What's the angriest love song you know?" Liz asked, and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm fine," I said and took a drink.

"Don't lie." She gave me a look. "You're mad."

"Okay, yeah, but not for the reason you think," I said and her head tilted, so I took another drink, then sat up.

"I'm not mad he's having dinner with his ex-wife, I couldn't give less of a shit about that. What I'm mad about is that he didn't tell me beforehand, so when he kicked me out, I had no plans whatsoever. I'm also mad because when I asked why I had to leave, he didn't give me a reason, so I had to learn from a third party." I said and gestured to Liz.

"Okay, yeah, I see your point." She nodded. "What are you going to do?"

"Haven't made up my mind yet." I sighed. "I'm torn between yelling at him or walking out and not coming back until morning."

Liz had me stay for a little while longer, and I soon decided, fuck it, I'll walk around if I want to. So I left her the rest of the pizza and walked out, wandering the sidewalks, memorizing where interesting looking places were.

It was around one a.m. when I returned to the hotel and kept quiet as I went up to our room. When I got in, James was just in his underclothes, looking worried on the couch, and his head snapped up to look at me.

"Where the hell have you been?!" He stood up, and I calmly walked around him to get myself ready for bed. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been? I couldn't find you, Nessa."

I didn't answer as I tugged on a huge T-shirt, then went into the bathroom to clean my face and brush my teeth.

"Nessa, darling, you can't leave without telling me." He sighed, and I scoffed, but that was it. "I'm serious, darling."

I just started brushing my teeth, and he stared at me, looking almost appalled. "You're just not going to answer me? Is that how you're going to be?"

"Did you ask Liz where I was?" I asked once I rinsed my mouth.

"Yes." He said, following me as I walked back out to our room.

"So...?" I just stared at him, unimpressed.

"I still worried over you." He came over and took my hands in his. "I can't protect you out there like I can in here."

"Sucks to be you." I just hummed and took my hands back.

"Liz also told me you were mad." He said after a moment.

"Did she happen to explain to you why I'm mad?" I asked and he nodded. I checked the time and pursed my lips. "So I've been in here about ten minutes now, and all you've done is talk about me leaving and worrying you. Wow."

"I'm sorry, Nessa. I should've told you, you're right. I should've told you everything." He sighed.

"You're not sorry." I shook my head, and he gave me a hurt look. "Not really. If I hadn't said anything, if you didn't hear anything, you would still think it was okay."

James just sat on the edge of the bed, his head hung. "Are you going to leave me?"

I looked at him for a moment, silent. It was a problem I had when I was mad at people. I tended to push them too hard. I didn't know when to stop pushing people. Like weeks ago with Sam, I pushed her to the point of a near mental breakdown.

"No," I sighed and went over, hugging him, his head resting against my stomach, and James tied his arms around me in a tight grip. "Just don't keep me in the dark, okay? Trust is very important to me, and if you're going to hide shit from me, it just makes me think that I can't trust you."

James nodded as I ran my fingers through his hair. He let me go briefly so I could crawl into bed, but once he was beside me, his arms were back around me and holding onto me like he was scared I'd leave him.

"I'm right here, James." I sighed and kissed his cheek gently, my fingers trailing across his back lightly just to comfort him.

"I was so scared when I couldn't find you." He breathed in my ear. "I thought you'd left for good."

"Without my bag? My clothes and shit? Without any money? I wouldn't have gotten far." I said and heard him chuckle softly.

"Guess I didn't think that through..." James hummed. "I'm so sorry, Nessa."

"It's alright now," I said and kissed his cheek again, but James caught my lips with his, and gave me one of the sweetest kisses of my life.


	15. Chapter 15

James worked hard on trying to make it up to me, which I told him was unnecessary, but he ignored me.

A few weeks later, it was Devil's Night, October thirtieth. James was very excited and told me today was a very big day. One, it was his birthday, two, there was a soiree with his 'children' or whatever, and it was the day before Halloween, and he wanted me to attend with him.

"Who's going to be there?" I asked, curious.

"Richard Ramirez, John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Aileen Wuornos, and the Zodiac." He listed, and my brows rose. "So you'll come?" He smiled, taking my hands.

"Yes, I'll come." I chuckled.

James and Miss Evers spent most of the day setting everything up and making sure it was all perfect. James tasked me with making myself perfect, saying he wanted to show me off. I didn't mind, really. In fact, the thought made me blush a little.

So that night, I was in a black dress, my hair done up, and my makeup perfected. I could see James trying to control himself as he stared at my deeper than blood red lips.

He held my hips, looking me straight in the eye. "You have nothing to worry about. No one would dare disrespect you, as they'd then be disrespecting me."

"Who said I was worried?" I asked and he gave a smile before kissing me, biting my bottom lip slightly. Let's just take a minute and be thankful for matte lipstick that won't budge.

I sat at the table with a glass of wine as the guests started arriving, as I tended to keep to myself in social situations if I wasn't required to mingle. I recognized Jeffrey Dahmer, and he seemed to have the same idea, and sat at his place and kept quiet.

"I haven't seen you before." A man who I guessed was Richard Ramirez walked up to the table, looking at me, and I just sipped my wine with a dead blank unimpressed stare. "You gonna be my dessert, babe?"

I lowered my glass and gave a small sigh, still staring. "You get one warning. Back off." I said simply, and he looked a little shocked at me.

He looked like he was about to yell at me, then James came behind me, holding my shoulders. "I see you've met _my_ Nessa."

Richard immediately toned it back down, and I was lowkey impressed. "Nessa, dear, Richard, and Jeffrey. This is Nessa Buchanan."

He introduced me to the others, and I kept my face as blank as ever when there were people near me. James called Miss Evers for the first course, salad, and she served it but brought out a naked man for Jeffrey. He was seated in front of me, and I merely ignored him drilling into the man's brain as I ate a bit.

"So, you're still alive," John said from my other side, and I looked over and gave a nod. "So, who have you killed?"

"No one. So far, at least." I answered.

"So... how did you and the master meet?" He asked, looking a bit confused.

"I was a singer, and I was ending my tour for this year in LA. My crew and band were staying at some other hotel a street down, but I dragged my managers to stay with me here." I said. "One of my managers had the idea to do a promotional show here, drag more customers in for the hotel, and James just had to meet me."

"One of our best nights here. She brought in a large crowd, easy pickings for everybody." James took his seat next to me again, his hand resting on my back.

The entrees were served, and another man brought out. Miss Evers served everyone a weapon, but James remained sitting next to me, his arm around my shoulders as we watched them go to town with killing the poor son of a bitch.

I had a little idea and swallowed my bite before I leaned close to James' ear. "Don't get hard too early now..." I hummed and bit the shell lightly before pulling back again.

James gave a soft growl and looked at me, and I pretended like I didn't even do anything. "Careful, darling. I'm excitable on Devil's Night."

After that, James said he had a little gift for me. I raised my eyebrow, and he just offered me his hand. I took it and stood, and let him lead me to the living room, where there were silver dishes with chocolates on them. All my favorites, too, as he's been paying attention to which ones I liked.

I gave a little laugh and looked at James. "I'm almost convinced you're trying to fatten me up so you can eat me." I smiled, shaking my head at him.

"There's only one part of you I'll eat, dearest." He hummed, and I grinned a little before I hugged him gently.

"Why must you spoil me like this? It's your birthday, you should be the one getting spoiled." I said, picking up a truffle.

"I don't care about my birthday. It's Devil's Night, it's a celebration." He said and his hand that was stroking my waist stilled and he gazed at me. "Besides, you know full well that I love to spoil you. You know I'll get you anything your heart desires."

The selfish part of me told me to take advantage. It told me to ask him for everything I've ever wanted in life. But another part of me said that just wouldn't feel right, and there had to be equality here. He was deserving, too.

I picked up a dark chocolate one and held it up to his lips, giving him a soft smile as I waited for him to take it. James rolled his eyes before smiling a little and took it between his teeth, and I smiled just a little wider, letting him know I was happy to give him things, too.

When everyone left for their rooms for the night, James took me on the couch, his mouth still tasting like chocolate, and I know he secretly loved it.


	16. Chapter 16

The morning of Halloween I woke up to my underwear feeling a little wetter than usual. It took me a minute to realize why, and then I got up, made sure there was no blood on the sheets, then grabbed a new pair and some joggers, and went to the bathroom to clean up and fix it. I came out and asked for Miss Evers, who appeared suddenly.

"Hi. Sorry, could you get the blood out of these, please?" I asked, and she gave me a smile.

"Of course, honey." She said and I thanked God she must've realized how embarrassed I was, and didn't embarrass me further.

"Thank you." I smiled at her and she left again, so I went back to bed.

"Any plans for today?" James asked, sitting on the edge of the bed by me.

"Uh... not really, no." I shook my head. "Why? Did you want to do something?" I asked.

"All I have on my list to do today is you, dearest." He said, and I giggled a little. James smiled up at me, looking happy as can be.

I wasn't sure if I should tell him I was on my period. I mean, I know the blood wouldn't really bother him, but would it bother me?

I thought about it for a moment and decided I was probably cool with it.

"Just to be fair and warn you, I did get my period this morning. Might wanna lay down a towel to save Miss Evers the trouble." I hummed, and he just grinned up at me.

"But the mess is half the fun." He said, and I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever you say." I hummed, and James turned to me, pulling me to lie on the bed by my hips, and dug his fingers under the waistband of my joggers and panties, and tugged them down my legs.

"Now?" I asked.

"What can I say? You've excited me." James hummed, leaning over to give me a kiss.

"If you eat me out," I said against his lips. "I'm not kissing you again until you've cleaned your mouth," I said, getting him to laugh.

"Whatever you say, darling." He hummed, lifting my shirt and kissed down my body. His finger traced my clit as he stared down at me. "You're so much more sensitive... wetter at this time..." He hummed as if he was awed by it all.

He leaned down and licked a stripe up my core, and I focused my mind away from how gross I thought it actually was, and more towards how good he was with his tongue. Fuck, I loved his tongue.

James had me squirming in no time around his tongue, and I was feeling more sensitive, actually. I moaned out his name, my thighs trembling as he made me come, and he then lifted himself up and stripped quickly, and pushed into me.

James rolled us over so I was on top, but he directed my movements with his hands on my hips. I let my nails sink into his chest, my mouth open as I moaned, though I tried to bite my lips shut.

"Plan to come until you pass out." James hissed, and I honestly had no objections. That sounded amazing.

I nodded, my eyes closed, and his fingers came to my clit to work me to an orgasm once again. I tensed up in less than a minute and felt my walls contracting around him as I came again. This time, James didn't remove his fingers, making me moan and cry out, and I moved my hips frantically with him and against his hand.

"Look at you, beautiful. I think you like this." James sounded smug, and I only nodded, not able to find my voice or think straight.

He turned us over and lifted my hips, and rammed into me, going hard, making me scream a little, and I gripped onto him. He shifted his hand so he still was holding my hips, but his thumb now pressed down hard onto my clit.

I could've sworn my nails broke his skin when he made me orgasm that time. But James still wasn't done with me. After a minute, I was turned over, and he still went hard into me. He reached around my hip to mess with my clit, his fingers going the same rhythm his hips did when he pushed into me.

I felt like I was going to break, but I still pushed back to him for more. I wasn't sure how I still wanted to continue, I was exhausted.

"James, please..." I managed to get out, and he surprised me by taking his hand away, but only to spank my clit. I bucked against him, a gasp coming out of me, and he rubbed away the sting then.

"More, dear?" He asked in my ear, and I nodded. He spanked it again, making me let out a cry, and kissed my cheek before he spanked it a couple more times before he finally rubbed it away.

He pulled out and turned me back onto my back, and I could only imagine how fucked up I must look right now. His head tilted slightly as he studied me, and I whimpered in need.

"Oh, were you close?" He asked and I nodded, reaching for him. He spanked me again and leaned over me as he rubbed me hard. I nearly cried as I felt myself starting to come, and James' fingers just played at my entrance with the wetness.

"Such a good girl for me." He sighed, seeming pleased. "When you wake up, I'll have a big present ready."

My brain hardly translated the words as I blinked heavily, and I couldn't make my eyes focus on him anymore. I felt a kiss being placed on my forehead, and I let my eyes fall shut, and I didn't bother letting them reopen.


	17. Chapter 17

Once I opened my eyes again, I found I was under the covers, and also discovered I had a pair of panties back on, with a pad in them. Did James do that?

I was touched, then realized how stupid of a question that was. Of course. James did that. Who else would have?

I sat up, giving myself a minute to fully wake up, then got up, grabbed my robe, and slipped it on, tying it quite snug around my waist before I opened the door that separated the bedroom from the rest of the suite, and stepped out.

"Darling. You're up." I heard James' voice, and looked up, seeing him walking over to me with a smile on his face. I was giddy that he looked happy to see me.

James kissed me softly, his hands resting at the bottom of my back. "How do you feel? Is there any pain?" He asked, and I smiled at his care.

"I feel great. No pain." I assured him.

James gave me a smile and touched my cheek before he lead me away, a hand still on my back, to our living room, where a number of things were on the table.

My brows furrowed before they shot up in surprise as I realized what I was looking at. Bottles of Bacardi, Viniq, and some of the sweetest tasting liquors known to man. As usual, there were tons of chocolates but was also surprised me was the array of perfumed soaps and lotions.

"James..." I smiled widely, bringing my arms around him where he held me to his side.

"You like it?" He asked and I nodded.

"I love it." I stretched up on my toes and kissed his cheek.

"Then I've got one more thing for you." He hummed and I bit my lip nervously. Miss Evers walked in with a small pit bull, a sort of gray color with the most gorgeous tan eyes.

"Oh my..." I gasped and let James go, sinking to the floor to play and pet it. "Mine? Really mine?"

"Yours." He nodded with a smile. I looked back to the dog with a big smile.

"Does... do they have a name? Are they a boy or girl?" I asked.

"He's a boy, and he doesn't have a name yet," James said, sitting down on the couch, watching me pet him.

I bit my lip, thinking as I ran my hands over his fur, studying the gray color.

"Dorian." I decided. "My little baby Dorian." I chuckled as he licked my hand. I got up to sit beside James, and Dorian just followed.

"You like him?" James chuckled.

"He is my Dorian, and he is my baby, and anyone that touches him will die. I don't care if they're already dead, they will die." I said with a firm nod.

"Of course." James nodded, stroking my hair. I turned slightly to look at him, then leaned over, putting my face in the crook where his shoulder met his neck, hugging his arm that was closest to me.

"Thank you," I said softly and placed a soft kiss on his jaw.

"Seeing you happy makes me happy, dearest," James said softly to me, his hand resting on my thigh. Not even in a sexual way, but just to hold me.

At that moment, I decided that I could be doing more to make him happy, and not just in a sexy way.

But that could come later.

I pressed a kiss to his skin again before I sat up. "Which bottle should we open first?" I hummed, then picked up a Viniq bottle. "I think you would like galaxy liquor."

"Galaxy liquor?" He asked, getting up to grab some glasses as I swirled the bottle before opening it, and poured us each some. I saw his eyebrows lift at the swirling shimmery colors, and he lifted the glass and just stared at it.

"Galaxy liquor," I smirked and took a sip, watching in amusement as he tasted it, and I was also absentmindedly petting Dorian beside me.

"I just thought it was the bottle that shined..." He hummed, and I smiled at his confusion. "This is safe to drink?" He looked over at me.

"Welcome to twenty eighteen. We like to eat shiny things, including gold." I said, and James gave a laugh.

"You're joking." He said, and I shook my head. "You're serious? People out there in the world eat gold?"

"Little sheets of edible gold, yeah." I nodded. "I've seen it on cakes, ice cream, donuts... even a bagel, once." I hummed and took a sip.

James closed his eyes and chuckled. "If we had that in the twenties... can you imagine?"

I then grew curious. "Did you ever go to any parties in the twenties?" I asked, gazing at him curiously.

"I did, on many occasions." He nodded slowly like he was remembering.

"What were they like?" I asked, knowing they probably weren't as wild as they were depicted in the movies.

"They were grand events. Champagne flowed like water, and everybody danced. Prohibition didn't matter at parties. Everyone was happy and drunk." James said, his thumb stroking my thigh as he spoke.

I smiled as I watched him, giving his arm a little squeeze. "I'm tempted to get you to watch The Great Gatsby just to hear your critiques."

James chuckled next to me and moved his hand from my thigh to bring his arm around me, and I moved closer to his side, feeling his fingers trace my waist.

I found it a bit ironic about how I felt so safe in the arms of a cold-blooded killer. A man who felt no remorse, who could have himself covered in blood and not bat an eye, who has taught some of the greatest killers to this day, but here I was. I was sitting curled up to him, the same man who cut throats as a hobby also showered me in gifts and attention.

It almost felt like whiplash, but I liked it.

I set down my glass and lifted my hand to turn his face to mine so I could kiss him. James pulled back a few seconds later, but that was only so he could set his glass down so he had a free hand to hold my face as he kissed me.

We kept it slow and sweet, and after a minute or so, James pulled back again after pecking my lips.

"What was that for?" He asked as he traced my face.

"I just... I feel like I don't let you know how much I appreciate you enough." I said. I saw a smile come onto his face before he kissed me quickly once more.

"I know, darling. Believe me, I know." He hummed, making me smile.


	18. Chapter 18

Liz was in disbelief that James got me a dog. She said she wasn't even sure if the hotel allowed pets.

"It's what he does with all his lovers." Elizabeth's voice sounded as she came up to the bar. "He promises them the moon, bends the rules for them."

I looked over and saw her studying Dorian lying at my feet. Her eyes then flicked up to meet mine.

"I want to show you something." She said, and curiosity got the best of me, so we got Dorian to my room before she lead me down a hallway and into some hidden passageway.

"You're loyal, aren't you? A one person at a time kind of girl?" She asked and I nodded, wondering what she was trying to get at. "Don't worry, I'm not interested in you. I prefer womanly, not girlish."

"Thanks." I just said dryly.

She brought me to a hidden door and turned to me before she let me peek through. "I'm only showing you this because I think you should know." She said, then stepped aside, and I took a peek through a peephole.

I saw two people having sex, and I was about to ask why I was looking at this until I actually saw what was happening.

It was James ruthlessly fucking some girl on a table, blood spilling over the edge as he sliced up her chest and neck. Aside from his thrusting, she looked to be lifeless.

Many thoughts were in my head as I stopped peeping, and let Elizabeth show me back out.

"How often?" I asked once we were in a normal hallway.

"Daily." She answered, and I closed my eyes in slight anger.

"Motherfucker," I swore under my breath and just shook my head.

"You can't hurt him." She said.

"I don't want to hurt him." I huffed and walked off, back to the room where I sat pissed off on the couch with Dorian, eating chocolates to keep my anger at bay.

It wasn't working out too well.

He came in around half an hour later and looked confused at my dead blank stare.

"Are you alright, dear?" He asked, and I put the lid on the chocolates and set them aside, then leaned back with my legs crossed again.

"So how was she?" I asked, and he stared at me, keeping his face straight.

"Who?" He asked, which was the wrong thing to say.

"The girl you just killed. And fucked." I said, not even batting an eye.

"I don't..." He started, then trailed off, which only pissed me off further. I stood up and went over to him, grabbed his collar and pulled him down to look me in the eye.

"I don't care if you fuck someone else, but don't you ever, ever, lie to me about it," I said in a serious tone, finding an odd sense of pleasure at seeing the clear shock in his eyes.

I let him go and turned to walk away from him. "Is that it, then?" He asked, and I turned just to look at him.

"Clean your dick off before you even think about fucking me after it's been in some dead girl's pussy," I said in a hard tone, trying not to grit my teeth too hard.

"That's not all... you're mad about more than that, Nessa," James said, and I stared at the wall. "Go on. Might as well let it out all at once."

I bit my tongue for a minute, and James came over and tried to take my hand, but I took it away from him.

"You promised not to keep me in the dark. Were you even fucking listening to me then?" I snapped but still kept myself reined in. "Apparently not, as this is now something else you haven't told me about. And better yet, you just tried to lie to my face about it."

"I'm sor-" He tried, but I cut him off.

"You're not sorry. Don't even try to apologize if you don't mean it." I hissed.

"I am sorry, I do mean it." James tried again.

"You're only sorry cos you got caught!" I snapped at him again. "There's a difference."

I then sighed and raked my nails through my scalp a little. "This is the second fucking time, James. How the fuck do you expect me to trust you if I keep finding out you're hiding shit from me and lying?!" I tried to keep myself from crying, but it was getting harder and harder to bite the tears back.

James then wrapped his arms around me tightly, and I tried to push him away.

"Let me go," I said, pushing, but he wouldn't budge.

"No, Nessa." James sighed.

"James, let me go right now." I sniffed, trying to sound stronger than I felt.

"That's not going to happen, dear. I need you to listen to me." He said, holding me in place. "I'm sorry. You're right, there is a difference between being sorry and being sorry because you got caught. But I'm sorry for a lot more than just this."

He shifted slightly, his mouth a little closer to my ear. "I'm sorry for upsetting you. I'm sorry for making you angry. I'm sorry for disappointing you. I'm sorry for letting you down a second time. I'm sorry for not keeping my promise. I'm sorry I tried to lie. I'm sorry for making you cry. And I'm sorry because I know you deserve much better, but I'm too selfish to let you go."

I had given up and just rested my forehead on his chest as hot tears streamed down my cheeks. He sat me down on the couch and kneeled in front of me, just like the first time he caught me upset.

He wiped my eyes until my tears ran dry, and waited silently for me to say or do something. I just didn't know what to do, though.

I had the urge to push him off me and just spit venom and abuse at him until I convinced us both that I truly hated him. But I knew I just didn't have the energy, nor the will, to do that.

And that's when I realized the awful truth.

I slowly reached a hand up from my lap and brushed my fingers gently across his cheekbone, and James stared up at me, looking hesitant.

"You remember when you asked me how I stay cold and uncaring, and I told you about my list?" I asked softly, my voice barely a whisper, and he nodded.

My lip then wobbled a little, and he sat up, ready to comfort me.

"You can't hurt me again, James." I sniffed. "Cos you made it onto my list."


	19. Chapter 19

James spent the rest of the day trying to make sure I was alright, and to be honest, he seemed a little panicked.

I gave a little sigh as I lied curled up in bed. James was next to me, always touching me in some way so I knew he was here, and he knew I was with him.

"I'm still not going anywhere." I murmured, and his thumb traced over my knuckles.

"Do you know why I call you dearest?" He asked, and I kept my eyes down. "It's because out of all the things in this world, you are the dearest to me. You mean the most to me, Nessa. I can't stand the mere thought of losing you."

I didn't answer him, and James let go of my hand to place his hand on the side of my neck as he gently kissed my forehead.

"I've fallen in love with you." He whispered, and I just closed my eyes, wanting to believe him so badly. So I just kept myself quiet, biting the inside of my lip to keep it from wobbling with emotion.

James seemed to understand and gave a quiet sigh. "Do you want me to leave you alone?" He asked, and I quickly shook my head. The last thing I wanted right now was to be left alone. I gripped the side of the shirt he wore, just to make sure he wouldn't go anywhere.

James' arm settled around me, and I drifted off a little, not meaning to, but I had no other ideas of what to do with myself.

When I woke up, it was getting dark, and I was starving, and something smelled really good. James wasn't beside me, so I slipped out of bed and stepped out of the bedroom and saw dinner being set up by him and Miss Evers.

"Nessa, darling. Perfect timing." James stuttered just a little, and I couldn't help but think of him as adorable.

"We um, I... it's your favorite." He said and Miss Evers set down a platter and uncovered it to reveal a smallish steak topped with goat cheese and a buttery lemon sauce, garlic mashed potatoes and a bit of fettuccine alfredo on the side.

I smiled a bit, remembering back to when he asked me what my favorite food was, and I described exactly this. There was this restaurant back home my mom loved, and every time we went I would always order this because it was the only place I knew where they offered goat cheese as a topping on a steak. It sounded weird but tasted so good.

James pulled out my chair for me, so I sat down, and he sat beside me. I had no idea what I was feeling. I was touched that he did these kinds of things for me, and I wanted very badly to let him know. But that stubborn part of me wanted to hang onto my anger, or else it would seem like I'm letting him off the hook too easily.

I decided fuck it and cleaned my mouth with my napkin before I leaned over slightly and kissed his cheek softly. James froze for a second before he looked at me, but I was back to twirling pasta onto my fork.

"Did I imagine that?" He asked, sounding confused.

"Nope." I hummed and ate some more pasta before I began cutting up my steak.

"So why..." He trailed off, and I glanced over.

"I'm not allowed to kiss you?" I asked.

"No! No, my dearest, you are. I just... You aren't still angry with me?" He asked, and I gave a little sigh.

"In all honesty, it's hard to stay angry at you for long," I admitted. "Kind of annoying, actually. I'm used to holding grudges and being mad at people for much longer than just a few hours."

I saw James softly smiling, so I knew he was alright.

"How long are you usually mad at people for?" He asked, going back to eating.

"Depends on what they did. One guy pissed me off and I was mad at him for a week or two or something. One girl pissed me off and I've been mad at her for over a decade now." I gave a small shrug, popping a bit of steak into my mouth.

"So, if I were anybody else, how long would you say you'd be mad at me for?" He asked and I looked to the ceiling as I thought.

"Probably months. Maybe a year." I decided with a slow nod.

We talked through dinner and dessert, and it had started to feel like any other day. My mind wandered to how our days ended, and it was always with sex. I wasn't sure if James was expecting sex tonight. I wasn't sure if I wanted to have sex with him tonight.

It took only the thought of his head between my thighs to get the butterflies in my stomach moving, and I had made up my mind.

I left the table a bit earlier and slipped into our room and quickly undressed, then cleaned my face. He wasn't in but the time I was done, so I lied back, stretching a little as I waited for him to come in and see me.

When he did, it was hard to hold back a smile at his surprised face. I sat up a little, parting my legs just slightly, and looked down at myself before meeting his eyes, silently begging him, and he got the message quite clearly.

James shrugged off his suit jacket as he made his way towards me, and I bit my lip as he parted my legs even further. My mouth fell open when his tongue met me, and I immediately broke out in shivers and rolled my hips against his face.

Fuck, I needed this. Why? I don't know and I really don't care.

James had a good grip on my thighs, and he didn't tease me or stop at any point. Not when I gripped his hair, not when I ground my hips against his face, not when I began whimpering, and definitely not when I started coming.

When I was done, he started to stand, but then he saw my little pout.

"My dear, if you want more, just ask." He said in a low voice, and shivers broke out across my skin again, making me squirm a bit.

"James, I need more..." I gave him my best pleading look, and he closed his eyes and swore under his breath.

He started to undo the buttons on his shirt as he crawled over me. "I couldn't resist you if I tried." He breathed before attaching his lips to mine, making sure I was pleased enough before he even thought about going to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

James wanted to spend the next day with me too, and I know it was because he wanted to prove himself to me.

I was thinking about starting the day with a shower to keep me relaxed, but for now, I just remained in bed with James.

"Do you like my mouth?" He asked, and I gave him an odd look. "You just always seem excited for me to taste you, more excited than you get for other things."

"James," I sighed and put a hand on his cheek, looking straight into his dark eyes. "I fucking love your mouth."

James smiled widely then, obviously happy with my answer. "Let's be glad I love to use my mouth on you, then." He said, making me smile.

Some minutes later, I got up for a bath, inviting James to join me if he wanted to. He obviously wanted to. I'd changed my mind from shower to bath, honestly because I was feeling a bit clingy today and wanted to remain close.

I poured bubbles in as the water ran, smiling happily at the scent of sweet roses. James chuckled and touched my cheek before we got in together, and he held my back to his chest, making me smile to myself.

Once we had soaked for a good while, we got out and dried off with fluffy towels, and I grabbed my favorite lotion, and James just watched me rub it into my skin.

"Before we met, I used to just go in and out of your room at times... sorry. Once I was there just as you had gotten out of a shower, and you were putting on your lotion, and all I could do was stare." He said, then bit his lip softly. "Sorry, again."

I just smirked to myself, not saying a word, just keeping my amusement to myself.

I wanted to make James as happy as he made me, and when he asked what I wanted to do today, and I said 'kill someone,' I was happy to see the slightly awed look on his face.

I made sure Dorian was fed and happy before leaving the room with James, and he pulled me down some secret passages to a room. There was a girl who looked like she was in her low twenties, arranging sets of lingerie out on the bed.

"You look about her size." James hummed, and I smiled a bit. He passed me a knife, another in his hand.

James slipped into the room and soon had her restrained, holding her arms behind her back with a knife to her throat. I stepped out and she was crying hysterically.

"Please don't hurt me." She begged, and I shushed her and traced her cheek.

"You're going to be just fine, sweet cheeks," I said, giving her caring eyes, then looked at the sets she had on her bed. "What size are you? You a small?" I lifted one up and checked, then grinned.

"You are a small! Good thing you don't need these anymore." I hummed, gathering them up, and set them aside in a chair. "Remind me to get Miss Evers to deep clean those. Maybe wash 'em with bleach. I have a thing about germs... well, just about getting dirty in general." I rolled my eyes as I came back and cut down her dress, moving it aside, then got rid of her bra by cutting it down the middle, and she cried hard all over again.

"Oh, don't worry. I'm not into rape or anything. I'm not going to touch you." I assured her and pressed two fingers in the middle of her chest to find exactly where her sternum was.

"No... you, honey, are going to be my mouse." I gave her a smile and nodded to James, who looked excited, and he got her up on the bed, still keeping her restrained.

"In school, I was in a low funded school, so we didn't have all the privileges other schools got. There was only one dissection we did, and we got these tiny little white mice. Well, not me. I got a fat mouse. We thought it was pregnant before I cut it open." I said and cut a perfect line from just below her collarbones to right under her belly button, and she screamed out.

"We didn't have any instructions, we just sort of played around. I spent the entire period just removing all that mouse's little organs and all the fat. I even managed to cut it's head off." I hummed, smiling as I remembered how all of us were excited to learn how easily their heads could come off.

I made the incisions at the top and bottom and peeled her skin back, and pursed my lips at the mess of blood and organs.

James watched me pick her insides clean, placing them on the bed around us, and it actually took around twenty minutes for her to finally die. James then let her fall back onto the bed, surrounded by her organs, and got me up, too. He took my face in his hands and kissed me hard, pushing his hips against mine, where I felt he was already hard.

"You have..." He breathed as he got us on the floor. "No fucking idea how bad I want you." James looked wild as he frantically undressed the both of us.

"I think I have some idea." I laughed a little at his excitement. Once I was bare, he kissed me hard as he ground into me, making me gasp and moan as his hardness met my sensitive wetness.

He seemed to know just how sensitive I was, and his hand came down and spanked me, making me jump before he rubbed the slight sting away. James kept this up, increasing his rate of spanking my pussy a few times before giving me relief. At least until I begged for him. God, he knew exactly how to make me beg and grow needy.

"Come here. Get over here." He sat back with his back against the bed, and I crawled over to him, going between his legs and lowering my head to lick and suck at his length. As I did that, he forced my thighs apart where I knelt and pushed two of his fingers into me.

James wasn't going to give me any mercy, I soon figured out as he fingered me hard. I could fucking hear how wet I was, and I know James was just loving it.

When he was ready, he had me on my back on the floor and pushed in, going hard immediately. I cried out and squirmed, but James wasn't having that. I knew I was probably dripping all over the fucking place, and he was reaching such a deep spot in me, it drove me wild.

He brought my legs up over his shoulders, suddenly changing the position, and I felt the difference very quickly. I swore loudly and gripped onto him with my nails, trying to find some sort of stability.

James didn't help as he brought a hand to my clit and worked it just as hard as he was going. I nearly cried as I came, and he didn't let up at all. I guess he was going to fuck me until I passed out again.

After a minute, he told me to get on my hands and knees, and I did so but wasn't sure if I was strong enough to even hold myself up. James seemed to realize this after a little while, and how did he solve this?

By putting his hand around my neck and forcing me up with my back pressed to his chest. I breathed hard as he kept ramming into me, one hand on my clit, one hand around my neck, slowly starting to squeeze the sides.

I was thankful that he knew the differences in strangling people. Strangling to kill, you'd put pressure on the front. That would damage the windpipe. But pressure on the sides was to slow the blood flow to the brain, which was used for pleasure.

I started to feel a bit dizzy as he squeezed, white and black spots dotting my vision, and that's when he gave me a little break to get back to normal. He placed kisses on the side of my neck as my head came back around, his hand playing at my chest until I was ready to be choked again.

My mouth fell wide open in a silent scream as I grew dizzy this time, and came once again.

I didn't feel him slip out of me or lie me back down on my back until I started to come back around. When I did, my hips bucked as I felt his tongue working on me.

"James, I- I can't..." I moaned, squirming a little under his tongue.

"Yes, you can, darling. You're doing wonderfully." He hummed before sucking on my extremely over sensitive clit, making me give a scream, and my hands flew down to grip his hair. I knew I said I couldn't, but I was a liar as I ground my hips against his mouth.

I basically became a fucking mess on the floor there. I moaned, swore, and called his name. I may have sobbed in pleasure a bit, and I knew for a fucking fact that I was going insane.

I began to slow down after James made me come two more times, and I felt the exhaustion taking over me. I could only imagine how I looked right now. His load on my stomach, tear tracks down my cheeks, my makeup was probably fucked up, I bet I had a deep blush on my cheeks, I bet my pussy was bright red, too.

My head had rolled over to the side as I had passed out before I even realized it.


	21. Chapter 21

I once again woke up in bed, unsure of how I got here. I then realized it was about ninety-nine percent James, and let myself settle into the bed even more.

Until I noticed the throbbing in my lower back and between my thighs.

I gave a low groan and tried not to move, but that was just sort of impossible for me because I was a stubborn piece of shit.

The door opened and James came in. "I thought I heard you. Are you alright, dear?" He came over.

"My back's just a bit sore. And my hips." I said softly, and James brushed some hair from my face.

"Oh, I'm sorry, darling." He apologized, and I shook my head.

"It's fine, it happens," I said, and James just leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"Can you try getting on your stomach for me? I'll be right back." He said and left, and I flipped myself over onto my stomach with a small wince.

When James came back, he pushed the covers off of me and asked where it hurt. I pointed it out and he lied a very hot washcloth over it, and I gave a little smile at how cute he was.

"You slept through lunch, you must be starving. What would you like for dinner, dearest?" He asked me, fingers trailing the skin at the top half of my back.

"Anything's fine." I hummed, closing my eyes and just enjoyed the attention and care.

"Nessa." He tried, and I smiled and peeked up at him.

"What?" I asked. "I don't want to decide on anything. You pick."

He leaned down so his face was close to mine. "That's not how this works, darling. It's part of your aftercare." He whispered, making me giggle.

"You know what aftercare is?" I asked, then my brows furrowed. "Did aftercare exist back then?"

"Yes." James gave a little eye roll as if he were amused by my questions. He reached up and stroked my cheekbone before he started combing through my hair with his fingers. "Now, please?"

I just smiled at him. "You know what I like to eat. Just pick something off that list." I gave a small shrug.

"You're impossible." James gave me a smile and kissed my forehead before standing up, and I caught his hand without realizing I'd done so for a second, and James looked at me in surprise before he smiled again.

"I'm coming right back, dearest." He assured me and kissed my hand. I nodded and let him go, then stared at the wall as I lied there, wondering why the fuck I just did that.

James came back just over a minute later with a glass of water in his hand. He set it down on my nightstand, then sat beside me. My back felt a bit better, so I moved over a bit and put my head on his lap. He combed through my hair with his fingers, keeping me calm and grounded. When the cloth got cold and the muscles in my back had loosened, I got rid of it and sat up to lean on James.

"Sorry, I'm clingy," I mumbled as he held me.

"Nonsense, dear. I'm happy to keep you close." James kissed my head, his fingers trailing up and down my back.

"But one day you might not be," I said before I could stop myself, and his fingers faltered on my skin for a few seconds.

James then tilted my chin up to make me look at him, and his eyebrows creased together in confusion and hurt.

"Why would you say that, Nessa?" He asked softly, and I just gave a little shrug. "No, you wouldn't say something like that for no reason. Tell me."

"Well... I read a thing a long time ago that this girl wrote, and it was about a lecture her college professor gave, and she said she thinks about it all the time. It was about how the reason most couples break up is that the reasons they fell in love with each other are the exact same reasons that ended them." I started to explain, not sure if I was remembering that right or not.

"So, someone might fall in love with this person because they find humor in everything, they're just constantly laughing and being happy. Well, sometime later, they may decide that they now find that person immature and annoying and that they can't take anything seriously." I looked past him at the wall as I spoke.

"What's your point here?" James asked softly.

"You may like that I'm clingy now, but who knows? Maybe later you'll decide I'm just suffocating you." I gave an even smaller shrug.

James stared at me, not saying a word, but he looked a little sad.

"I don't like you thinking like that." He shook his head a few minutes later. "I don't like you thinking that one day I'll grow to dislike you. That's the last thing I want, Nessa. Please don't think like that." He sighed as his hand came up to brush my cheek.

"I offered this relationship to you because I wanted you to know that there was someone who cared for you just because you're you, darling. I know how sad you felt when you were in that suite all by yourself. I know how upset you were when your managers didn't even notice you weren't with them until it was far too late. I know you felt lonely, and I hated it. I absolutely loathed it, dearest." He sighed, eyes trailing all over my face.

"I needed... I still need you to know that you can come to me for anything. I don't want you feeling lonely or like you're not cared for ever again. Do you understand?" He asked and I nodded, trying to blink away the tears.

James pulled me up a bit closer and held me tight just so I knew that neither of us was going anywhere.


	22. Chapter 22

Only a few days later, James insisted on taking a bath with me in the morning, and he did so by pulling me out of bed and putting me in a steaming hot tub with bubbles in it with no warning.

I tried to be mad and yelled at him but that was fucking impossible when he was sitting with me in a tub full of bubbles and pink water, giving me a smile.

I asked if he wanted to go about his day smelling like roses and sweet things, and he said he didn't care because that's what I smelled like. I called him a dork in my head, but only because I didn't know if he knew what a dork was.

When I felt like visiting Liz down at the bar, I went down the hall to get to the elevator, but I was stopped and pushed against the wall. And it wasn't in a sexy way.

A slender hand closed around my neck and I saw Elizabeth glaring at me, her clawed glove raised threateningly at me.

"When I showed you what James was up to, I did so hope you would finally leave him alone." She growled. "But you're fine? And now he's walking around, smelling like your shitty soap."

I was very confused.

"You're his ex-wife, Elizabeth. Why the fuck do you care?" I blinked at her.

"Because I make damn sure my exes don't get over me. They're not allowed." Her blue eyes narrowed at me. "They can fuck other people, sure. But all their love goes to me."

Her grip tightened slightly on my neck. "You need to leave him alone, or I will force you."

"That's not going to happen." I shook my head. "You don't have a say about anything that has to do with James and I. You had your chance."

She tilted her head slightly at me. "Don't tell me you actually think he loves you?" She asked, then chuckled, shaking her head at me.

"Lover is just a title, babe. James can't love. He doesn't know how. The only affection he knows is rough fucking and gifts. He doesn't love you, stop telling yourself he does." She said in a hard voice.

"I don't have to tell myself he loves me. He's told me he loves me. And the only affection he may have shown _you_ is rough fucking and gifts. That's not the same affection he shows me." I gave a smug little smile.

"Well, aren't you special." She said with an unimpressed tone. "I told you ages ago he'll go for anything with a pretty face in a skirt."

"And?" I stared, not sure where she was going with this.

"I guess I'm just going to have to do something about that pretty face since you don't really wear skirts." She said and gripped my jaw, forcing my head to the side.

I immediately grew scared and began to struggle, suddenly hating myself for not being strong enough to fight back.

"James will fucking kill you. I will kill you." I threatened, and she only laughed.

"Let's see... you're a soprano, right? I've heard you hit a few high notes." She said, then gave me a deadly look. "Give me your loudest, highest scream."

I stared at her for a second, wondering if she was serious, then the claw came closer to my face, and I took a breath, letting out a high pitched scream.

"Good girl!" Elizabeth laughed, and my screams dissolved into sobs when my cheek began to sting and burn, and my skin grew hot.

"I'll leave you there for now." I heard her hum, and she let me go. I sunk down to the carpet, feeling sick and dizzy, and watched her walk away, leaving me there as I cried hard in pain.

I don't know how long it was, but there was another voice, and I saw two blurry figures through my teary eyes, and I think one of them was Liz. I was having trouble focusing, and I could hear them, but it felt like I was underwater as I listened to them talk. It was muffled as hell.

A hand met my shoulder and started to pull me up, and I swayed, feeling detached from the ground. I felt like I was floating, and I had no fucking clue what was happening.

After some time, I think I was lying down, and I let my eyes close as something prodded at my face, but only slightly. I couldn't really feel it all that much.

I heard a panicked voice, and things started to become a little clearer.

"What... what happened? Is she okay?" A man said.

"She's been bleeding an awful lot. She's sort of out of it." An older woman said.

"She's hardly reacting to anything. I keep having to check her pulse and make sure she's not dead." A lower feminine voice said.

"She can't die. She just can't." The man said. "What- How do we help her?"

"I think we've got to stitch it up." The older woman said. Stitch what up? "Here, check if she's still out of it."

There was a loud sound, and I made a small noise of protest at it.

"Oh my shit, she's conscious." A new female's voice said.

"You can't smoke in here, idiot!" The older woman huffed. "Well, we don't want to hurt her further. Hey, Nessa. Can you feel this?"

I didn't feel anything, so I didn't do anything.

"No, I think her endorphins are working overtime. She can't feel a goddamn thing. Get me that needle and thread from the good first aid kit, not the shitty one." The lower female voice said.

Their voices drifted in and out after that, and I worked on trying to get myself collected. I needed to get up. Get myself together.

I focused very hard on getting my eyes open, even though I was exhausted. The lights were very bright, and I squinted slightly, blinking slowly to get used to it.

I seemed to be lying down, and over me was an older woman, a bald trans woman, a woman with frizzy blonde hair and dark lipstick, and an extremely worried man with a pencil thin mustache.

"Nessa? Nessa, dearest, are you feeling alright?" The man asked, and I just blinked slowly at him.

Opening my eyes was pointless... I just wanted to sleep, so I let them close again and let myself blackout.


	23. Chapter 23

The next time I opened my eyes, I had no fucking idea where I was, and my mouth felt similar to the time I had my wisdom teeth removed, except the pain was in the front, not the back, and only on the left side of my face.

I swallowed thickly and reached up to touch my throbbing cheek, and a hand caught mine and lowered it.

"No, no, no. You don't want to do that." A voice who I recognized to be Liz said, and I looked over at her.

I then tried to ask her what the hell was going on, but her name came out extremely slurred, so I stopped right there, as I was very confused.

"Come on, let's sit you up." She said, and I got myself into a sitting position pretty fine by myself. She then called that I was up, and James and Iris came through the door.

"Nessa, how are you feeling?" James immediately sat beside me on the edge of the bed and took my hand in his.

"She's not exactly one for talking right now," Liz said. "You're not in any pain, are you?" She asked, and I shook my hand back and forth to indicate I sort of was.

"Well, she can't swallow pills..." Liz hummed.

"Crush up a painkiller, mix in water, and give it to her that way. I used to do that with Donovan." Iris said, and I was still in the dark here.

"You two go do that," James said and they went off, and he moved a little closer to me, looking into my eyes, and I was trapped by his pretty dark ones.

"My dearest, I am so sorry for what that bitch has done to you." He said, stroking my hand, and I furrowed my brows.

"Yesterday we all heard this scream. None of us had any idea where it came from. A little while later, Liz and Iris found you bleeding out in the hall." He said, and I teared up as I started to remember.

"They fixed you up just fine, but darling..." He sighed, a hand coming up to rest on the right side of my neck.

"I'd recognize a cut like that anywhere. It was Elizabeth, wasn't it?" He asked softly, and I nodded, some tears dripping out. James swore under his breath and carefully wiped my tears away.

"We'll get revenge. She's not going to get away with this, I swear." James looked at me again, and I raised the right corner of my mouth in a small smile.

Liz came back and handed me a glass of cloudy water with a straw in it. "It's just water and Ibuprofen." She said and I sipped it through the right side of my mouth.

Dorian jumped up on the bed and came to lie beside me, his head in my lap, and I tried my hardest not to smile because it hurt but I loved him so much he was such a good boy.

I set the empty glass aside and pet him, letting him know he was good and I loved him though I couldn't say it.

Both Dorian and James stayed by my side for a good long while. I was told the cut would start really healing in about four days, and it should be done after three weeks. I did a quick Google search when I had the rare moment alone, and found out that was about the time frame given for deeper cuts to heal.

The swelling had gone down considerably after a week, and there wasn't much pain anymore. I refused to look in a mirror, mainly because I was scared of what I might see looking back at me.

I knew it would scar. I knew I would have a permanent scar. I wasn't stupid.

I had a hard time not running my tongue along the inside of my cheek, just feeling the bumps and ridges on the other side (to be honest, they felt pretty interesting). James was constantly telling me to cut it out. He was scared I might hurt myself further.

The stitches came out around two and a half weeks in, but we still kept it covered in gauze as it was still healing.

Let's be honest, I'll keep it covered for as long as I can. And I did.

James very quickly noticed that I avoided looking into a mirror. I didn't really leave our room anymore, and I kept this scarf around my mouth and nose. I could tell he was getting fed up with it, too, and I mentally dared him to even try to say something about it.

I wasn't sure if I should've been surprised that he did. He was James March, after all.

"Nessa, darling, come here." He called, and I went over to where he sat on the couch, and he turned to me, looking at me for a second before he reached up for my scarf.

"No," I said and caught his wrists, trying to force them back down.

"Dearest, just let me-" He tried.

"I said no, James." I narrowed my eyes.

"Nessa, the last thing I want is to hurt you, but I swear if you don't take that stupid fucking thing off, I will make you." He said, and I stared.

"Why?" I asked, and James blinked.

"Why?" He asked.

"Yeah, why?" I waited for his answer.

"I want to kiss you." He simply said and I rolled my eyes.

"You don't want to kiss me." I shook my head.

"Yes, I do-" He tried, but I cut him off.

"Fine. Let me reword it. You don't want to kiss this hideous thing." I then glared at him and tried to get up, but he pulled me back down.

"Damn it, Nessa. Yes, I do." He said, and I thought I imagine the wobble in his voice.

"I haven't kissed you in nearly a month, dearest. I was fine with it at first because you were healing, and I couldn't risk hurting you anymore, but now..." He trailed off and sighed. "I miss you. I need you."

James then caught my face and turned me to look at him, and he got very close as he looked me in the eye, starting to undo the scarf.

"I don't care about the scar. It changes nothing about how I see you, how I feel about you. You are still my beautiful Nessa." He said and dropped the scarf to the floor and held my cheeks.

James then leaned forward, and I closed my eyes and let him kiss me, softly at first. Then I let my arms come around his neck and he pulled me closer. He didn't kiss me roughly, just with a little more feeling put into it. I almost smiled when he bit my lip and found that I had missed kissing him, too. I let my lips part to let that tongue of his I loved so much in, and he didn't disappoint in the slightest.

When we broke apart, James smiled at me, stroking my cheekbones with his thumbs.

"I don't understand how you can call me beautiful." I murmured, and he frowned.

"Come. Come on." James took my hands and pulled me off the couch. He walked me towards a mirror in the living room, and I closed my eyes.

"Ah, ah. No. Open them." James said, and I shook my head, then felt his arms slip around me, his front pressed to my back.

"Please open your eyes, darling. I'm trying to show you something." He sighed softly, and I ended up peeking, then opened my eyes.

I never liked seeing my face when it was bare, and now I disliked it even more as I had a scar that went from the left corner of my mouth to just under my cheekbone, curled like a smile. I teared up and gave a little sob, and I shook my head, unable to look at it any longer.

"Darling, I see nothing hideous in that mirror. Nothing even remotely ugly. You are my Nessa, and you are beautiful. Nothing will change that." James said. "You have a beautiful mind, a beautiful body, a beautiful soul... you have beautiful thoughts and you speak beautiful words. You sing beautifully."

As he spoke, I sniffled a little and looked at his reflection in the mirror. "You'll always be beautiful to me. A scar doesn't mean anything."

James then turned me to face him, and he wiped my tears again. "What's more, you shouldn't feel like you have to hide. That's only showing Elizabeth that she got the best of you, and we're not having that."

I realized he was right, and I gave a slow nod. Hiding just meant she won. She said she wanted to get rid of my pretty face, and as far as James and I were concerned, she hasn't changed shit.

"You still love me?" I whispered shyly, just wanting to make sure.

James tilted my chin up and placed another soft kiss on my lips. "I don't see how I could ever stop."


	24. Chapter 24

I got myself dressed to look decent and did a little makeup. I was careful around the scar, though, pretty sure I shouldn't be putting makeup over it just yet. I mostly stuck with my eyes and eyebrows and used a tinted lip balm on my lips.

James looked proud when we walked out of our room, Dorian in tow.

"That's my girl." He praised, and I gave a little smile. If it would make James happy, I'd do it.

We got down to the bar where Liz gave me a proud smile. She got James and I drinks, then peered over the counter at Dorian.

"And I'm betting Mr. Dorian would like some water and a few treats?" She asked.

"He'd love some," I said and she came from behind the bar to feed him treats and give him a bowl of water.

It didn't take even five minutes for Elizabeth to make an appearance. I felt my chest grow tight but told myself not to be a pussy, and I turned and looked at her, a small smile on my lips. She blinked and tilted her head at me, just a little confused.

"Come to admire your work?" I asked, and saw Donovan beside her give her unsure eyes.

She didn't answer, just kept staring at me.

"It's okay, Elizabeth. I forgive you." I said, stunning not just her, but the other three as well.

"Why?" She asked, taking a few steps forward.

"Because I feel so sorry for you," I said, making sure she heard me perfectly.

"You... what?" She blinked.

"I feel sorry for you. I pity you, in fact." I said and took a drink. She didn't say anything, so I just kept going.

"I mean, you fucking poured your heart out to me before you cut me. You just felt so threatened by me you actually went and attacked me." I shook my head slightly.

"I was not threatened-" She started.

"But you were." I cut her off without a single care. "I mean, you said it to me yourself. Lover is just a title. You said you didn't care if your lovers fucked other people, you just wanted them to only love you. And let's actually be honest here, you're not stupid, Elizabeth. You know none of your so-called 'lovers' are loyal, and not just in the sleeping way. They don't love you, not really." I shook my head and gave a little stir to my rum and coke.

"Let's keep being honest and go ahead and admit there was one person who did actually love you. And what did you do? You pretended he didn't exist except for one night a month." I then tilted my head at her. "Did you really think that would keep someone in love with you?" I smiled a little.

"But now not even he loves you. And you saw that you went as far as to try to make me mad enough to leave him... I'm guessing so you could reclaim him? But, that obviously didn't work. And... what was that you said to me? Something about James liking anything with a pretty face in a skirt, so you had to ruin my face since I don't wear skirts. Yeah, that's what you said." I nodded and took another sip.

Elizabeth was quiet for a moment, just staring at me.

"You're wrong." She said after a few seconds. "I'm loved." She then looked at Donovan, who wasn't looking at her, and he stepped away a little.

"Ouch." I hummed, raising my brows quickly. "See? I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for you because you honestly thought I wouldn't be loved if I had a fucked up face. You only know lust, not love... how lonely."

She came over to me, her hand on my neck, gripping it tightly. I kept a calm face on, setting my drink down onto the bar.

"You know nothing. You are nothing." She said through a clenched jaw.

"To you, maybe." I dared smirk in her face, and she tried to tighten her hold on my neck, and I hummed.

"Your hand isn't big enough to strangle me. Try both of them." I said, and she brought her other hand up to my neck.

I gave a little smile and smashed my glass against the bar and took a shard and shoved it in her eye. Elizabeth screamed and backed up, covering that side of her face, her hands becoming coated in blood, and I slid out of my seat and came towards her. I grabbed the back of her head to hold her still, then pushed the shard into her other eye as well.

"What are you doing?!" Liz asked.

"Payback. Sorry about the mess." I said and tossed the shard aside, then held my hand out to James. He came over to hand me a knife from his inside jacket pocket.

"Thanks, honey." I gave him a smile before I pinned down her arms with my knees and gripped her jaw, cutting a Glasgow grin into both of her cheeks.

"Alright, come on." I hummed and took her hair in my fist to drag her out and to the front doors. She tried to swipe at me with her hands, so I took a moment to hold her wrists and pull as I stepped on her shoulders one at a time, dislocating both her arms before I dragged her out of the hotel.

There weren't many people on the sidewalk, and no cars, so to be safe, I dragged her across the street and checked that she was still alive before I cut her throat three times, just to be sure she'd really die. I then got up and went back in as if it was nothing.

I handed James back his knife, which he cleaned off with his pocket square before tucking it back in his jacket. Liz had already cleaned up the glass and spill, which I apologized for again.

"I thought you said you forgave her?" Donovan asked.

"I lied. I do that sometimes. Most people do, actually." I said, then gave a little sigh, then looked over at him.

"Hey, do you mind if we take the penthouse? I've always wanted to live in a penthouse..." I hummed, then looked back to the bottles.

James gave a laugh as he put his arm around my shoulders as I was already imagining how we'd furnish and decorate it.


	25. Chapter 25

Ages later, I slipped out of bed to get ready for the day, and after I got dressed, I looked in the mirror to do my makeup.

It's been some years since I've been afraid of my reflection. But after I moisturized and primed, before I put on foundation, I noticed little wrinkles by my eyes that I'd never noticed before. How long have they been there? Has anyone else noticed?

James died in his later thirties, and I was in my late twenties and already seeing wrinkles. I knew it was genetic, my mom and dad got gray hairs very early, my mom at nineteen. I wouldn't know if I had and grays because I dyed my hair. But I now certainly had wrinkles.

I did my makeup, then just sat on the bed and thought this over. I've been ready to die for a while now. Honestly, I've been ready to die far before I even stepped into the Hotel Cortez. But how did I want to die? How was James planning on killing me? All I wanted was to not have any visible wounds or at least something I could easily cover up.

I knew I had vanity issues. I've had them since I was a teen. I didn't want to grow old and lose my looks. And now that I knew I could stick around forever, I didn't want to stick around as an older version of me.

So, when James came back up to our penthouse and got himself a drink, I ignored my nerves and went over and took his hand in mine.

He turned to kiss my head, then looked at me. "What is it, my dear?"

"I'd like you to do something for me," I said, tracing his hand with my thumb.

"Anything." James set down his glass and turned fully towards me.

"Kill me," I said, looking up into those dark eyes of his, and saw him turn serious in all of two seconds.

"It's not your time." He said with a low voice and started to turn away again.

"I say it is my time." I stood my ground, and he gave me a look. "Please, James. I know you wanted to be the one to kill me, but if you won't, today, I'll do it myself."

I didn't want to give him that sort of ultimatum, but I needed him to know I was being entirely serious.

James then gave me a slightly angry look, and took me to our couch, sitting us down, his drink forgotten. "My love, why? Why now all of a sudden?"

"I'm only getting older, James. You know I want to stay by your side forever. I want to stay with you while I still have some youth left in me." I kept tracing his hand as I spoke, hoping he would understand.

I then looked up at him, bringing my hand up to his face. "You were older than I am right now when you died, but you still look relatively young. You probably had good genes that didn't make you age faster." I smiled a little as I stroked his cheek.

James took my face in his hands and brought us closer. "You know I'll always find you beautiful, dearest."

"Please?" I whispered, my forehead brushing against his.

James studied my eyes with a somewhat pained look before he gave in and nodded. I gave a small smile and kissed him softly for a moment.

James then stood up, and I watched him go across the room and take out a bottle of moonshine. He got a double shot glass and set them on the table in front of me.

I looked at him curiously for a moment. "With all the time I've spent planning your death..." He sighed, then poured it into the glass.

"You're trying to get me drunk?" I raised my brow, as I've warned him what I was like when I was drunk.

"Not entirely. I just want you warm and... and giggly." James shook his head, and I swallowed it down, ignoring the strong taste and burn in my throat.

So we sat there together, and I drank until I felt all giddy inside. "Now what?" I asked with a smile as I leaned against him.

He leaned down and bit my ear. "Now I take you to bed." He murmured, making me giggle, and got me to stand up so he could lead me to our bedroom by the hand.

Once we were in, James kissed me hard and started tearing off my clothes. I worked on him a bit, too, but my fingers were a bit too uncoordinated with the buttons on his shirt. James just pushed me down onto the bed and took care of his own clothes before he came over to kiss me again.

His hips lowered to grind down into mine, making me gasp and moan into his mouth. I let my hands trail up his arms and focused mainly on the skin of his shoulders and back. I knew he liked to feel my nails, so I clawed at him a bit to spur him on.

After a little while, his hand came down and he rubbed me a bit before slipping two fingers in, and I almost immediately took notice that he wasn't going as hard as he usually went. Slower, sweet sex was rare, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he planned that for my death.

His fingers curled up inside me, and I gave a long moan at the pressure it provided, making me practically flood. James spread some of that wetness across me before he rubbed at my clit again.

He removed his fingers and positioned himself, giving me a little look before he pushed in. I bit my lip as I moaned, and I always enjoyed that moment where he slid in and paused just for a few seconds before he started to move.

I was so used to James fucking me like there was no tomorrow. I was so fucking used to quick, breathy moans from how hard and fast he thrust into me. I had almost entirely forgotten how deep he could reach in me when he took his time.

"Fuck," He breathed, his eyes sliding shut as he sat up just a little straighter. "I should go a bit slower more often... you feel amazing, my dearest."

I watched him, hypnotized by how his brows pinched together in concentration and pleasure. James took deep breaths, and I could hear the softer moans and sighs he liked to hide often.

I reached up and touched his cheek, and those dark eyes opened to look at me.

"Please let me hear you?" I asked, and he gave the tiniest smile before he changed our position so he was very close to me now. His lips met my jaw, and I tilted my head back to give him more room, and he slowly kissed my neck, letting his tongue glide over my skin, making me shiver.

"I've always loved how your skin tastes, darling." James breathed, moaning softly as he attached his mouth to the side of my neck. My mouth fell open in a moan, and I was already feeling close.

James rubbed me until I released, then pulled out of me, and I had a pretty clear idea of what was coming next.

He fixed my legs just how he wanted them before he licked up my slit, then closed his mouth around me, making me squirm as his tongue worked against me.

I gasped out, then had a thought. "If you wanted, I could sit on your face." I offered, knowing how he liked to let his hands roam around.

James nipped my clit before he got back up, then flipped us. "Come here then, my dear." He gave me a smile and I made my way up and let him position my hips where they needed to be.

I gripped the sheets and squeezed my eyes shut as I felt his tongue against me again. He slipped it into me and began to fuck me with it, and I tried not to move too much, but I just had to grind my hips down to feel more. James' hands wandered all across me as he worked his mouth, but he favored my chest and my ass.

I twitched as I got close, and gave a louder moan as I came that time. I lifted off James, and he simply turned me to sit against the headboard of our bed and kept my legs parted as he went down once again.

I gasped and let one of my hands come to his hair. "How many times are you going to make me come?" I breathed.

"Until I've driven you crazy." He said and nipped the inside of my thigh.

"Well, shit, you're almost there." I giggled and gasped again as his tongue flicked over my sensitive clit. My hips bucked a little, and I ran my fingers through his hair.

I swore and said his name numerous times until he made me come again. My head rolled to the side as I breathed deeply, and felt James shifting once more.

He placed a kiss onto my cheek then, surprising me just a little. "You're not too sore, are you, dearest?" He asked softly, and I shook my head. He pressed another kiss to my cheek as he pushed back into me, and now that he was closer to me, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"I love you." I murmured against his lips and felt his small smile.

"And I love you, my darling Nessa." James placed another kiss on my lips before he went to run his fingers over my clit. I was so sensitive that he didn't need much pressure to have me coming around him.

James wasn't far behind, and he pressed heated kisses to my neck before he pushed fully into me and came, and I shivered a little as I felt the warmth pool inside me.

I heard James give a shaky breath, and I opened my eyes to look at him collecting himself. He'd usually lie next to me and breathe deeply, holding me to him, but now he just sat in front of me.

James saw me watching him, and he took my face in his hands and gave me a short kiss. I saw him quickly smile before it suddenly went black.

I have no idea how much time passed, but I then found myself standing in our room. James was now in his robe, sitting on the bed with a drink while... I was lying there, naked, lying perfectly still. I wasn't breathing.

I then looked down at myself and found I was naked as well.

"James?" I asked and he looked up, then quickly set his drink down and came over, hugging me tightly. "How long has it been?" I asked, hugging him back.

"Only a few hours... it felt like a century." He sighed and pressed his face into my neck. "I was so worried you might not stick around."

"Honestly, James, what are the chances of that?" I sighed, and he held my waist and pulled back to just look at me.

"So, wait, what happened? How did I die?" I asked, realizing I didn't know.

"I snapped your neck," James said, and his fingers traced down the side of my neck. "It was the quickest, most painless way I could think of."

I then smiled at him, looping my arms around his neck and drew us close so there was no space between us.

"Well, you chose right, apparently. I didn't feel a thing." I said, and James gave me a smile and traced my hair before he kissed my forehead.

"Now, don't we have to get rid of my body?" I asked, looking past him.

"Right. Yes. I suppose we should." He hummed. I got my robe on and went to go over to my body, then sighed.

"You didn't even clean me up?" I asked, and he looked over, confused. "There's come everywhere. That's just going to stain the sheets." I said and grabbed a couple of tissues and cleaned up.

"Sorry, dearest. Slipped my mind." He said and came over, then lifted my body up. The penthouse didn't have a ramp, because that was so far down, so we'd have to go to a lower floor to dispose of my body.

We got in the elevator, and I smiled, almost laughing at how absurd this was.

We went to a lower floor with a ramp in one of James' secret rooms, and I opened it up for him as he pushed my body down. I closed it and turned to James with a little smile on my face.

"Now what?" I asked, and he surprised me by taking me into another hug. "James, are you alright?" I asked as my arms came around him.

"I was just terribly worried that you might not come back. That I'd lost you forever." He sighed, and I stroked his hair, trying to comfort him.

"I'm right here, okay? I'm dead, and I'm not going anywhere." I promised him.

"I know, I know..." He sighed and turned his head and pressed a long kiss to my neck, making me giggle. James chuckled and kept it up until I was a laughing mess. James pulled back to look at me, and I couldn't help but love how happy he looked. How in love he looked.

"You are so beautiful, my darling Nessa." He stroked my cheeks with his thumbs, his right thumb brushing over the bumpy scar on my left cheek.

I smiled widely, thinking of all that we could do together for the rest of time.


End file.
